Saying Goodbye

Saying, "Goodbye" is never easy...

Dec of 2000 I was just a teenager. I saw a photo of this adorable little puppy in the local newspaper. A teenage girl resisting the urge to at least check out these adorable little guys? I think not.

I instantly fell in love with Sam. I brought him home that night. Needless to say my parents were not very happy with me but I think that they had long accepted my weakness of bringing home strays.

I didn't realize the responsibility of having a puppy. My parents had always had pets, pets of all kinds; dogs, cats, horses, chickens, hampster's... well you get the point. Actually now thinking about it, most of those pets were brought home after the pleads of my brother and I. The difference this time was... they were not letting me off the hook.

It took just a few days of chewed up furniture and pee soak everything before we were all cursing that sweet little puppy face. He would howl all night unless I put him in the bed with me... And Oh when I did, I would wake to soaked sheets and holes in my bed linens. He would pull clothes out of their neatly folded piles and drag them around and I was trying to get them hung up. He chewed up an antique rocking chair and my favorite quilt. His favorite thing to do was to rip bales of straw open... this later became useful as he would spread his own straw when we had to kennel in the barn for a stint. He really was rotten but so playfully unique. That adorable little face, kept my love growing strong.

I remember my friends giving me a hard time because I had a new curfew based on my dog. Leaving early from a party to have to go walk your dog was not fun!  I learned a lot from Sam. Dare I say, Sam was my first step towards adulthood. He taught me to love something unselfishly.

The worst days of my life Sam sat by my bed side. He was a stead fast presence in my mind and heart. There have been times that I have had to leave him but always with the promise of I will be back for him. No matter the distance we had between us, Sammy was always my protector and my friend.

 I wish more than anything, Sams final days could have been resting in the house being pampered with home cooked meals and affection but that wasn't him. He loved living at the homestead, being outside, being one with nature. He was never much for cuddling not even as a pup.... I had to love Sammy the way Sammy wanted to be loved and that wasn't always easy for me.  I know bringing him here to a small backyard on a busy army base would have been selfish of me... but God how I wanted him here.

About a week ago I drove out to the homestead, to say my final goodbyes to someone who was a much better friend to me than I was to him. The knot in my throat and the burning in my heart feels like it will always be here, replacing his presence... My eyes swell with tears...Nothing expresses how he is missed by us all.

                                                     Rest in Peace Sammy.

 I love you.