Friday, August 24, 2012
Keep your trophy, I'm going for ice cream!
There is/are something(s) that have really been nagging at me. I just cant ignore it anymore! I am the kind of person that not only am I going to scratch an itch.... I am going to wear it out until it bleeds and after that I may even pick the scab! UGH... this metaphor just reminded me to pull my bristly hair brush close so I can really let the tick bites around my ankles have it! Anyways...
I am going to bit my lip and try not to use any names here but O MY GAH..... I am so itching too!!!! Grrr its like having a massive itch and someone putting mittens on your hands and feet then duct taping them together! You better believe I will hop and wiggle over to the nearest fence post and start rubbing like any four legged ass would do!
Pep talk; Okay, reel it back in Andrea.... Calmly... you are better than that... you are. you REALLY REALLY ARE SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER..... "THAN THEM"! CRAP!?! Did I just say that out loud?
What would my minister say!?!
So here's the deal...
1. It hurts my feelings when close friends or family "misspeaks". I will use the word misspeak or misspoken because I personally like to believe that people who genuinely care don't mean to cause any harm but they unintentionally say things without thought (which would make them??? stuuuu...p.... Stop it ANDREA YOU ARE better! RISE TO THE OCCASION SISTA! RISE TO THE OCCASION! WWJD).
I have one family member who is a habitual offender and so sometimes I believe this person could benefit with an extra wide piece of duck tape. Next time I may provide some for her.
Just thinking about the way she says things makes me so mad I just wanna KICK something!
2. Then there is that person who is always the victim. You know the type! They are one of those who always makes a million excuses as to why something happened and why you are the one cleaning up their mess. Oh, its not their fault! Its NEVER their fault. In fact even though you weren't there and where completely oblivious to anything surrounding their life, you are still expected to grab the dust pan! And to really scratch the nails across the chalk board, although you would love to be the one that makes them take responsibility, there is too much at risk by letting them have any type of responsibility. People that are innocent and helpless are at risk so you quietly fix as many mistakes this person makes in order to protect those who can not protect themselves. Sometimes I just want to shake this person and SCREAM that the world doesnt owe them anything. I would greatly love to watch this person self destruct but I cant because I know it would hurt a few people that I love more than anything. So my love for the un-named little people makes me the trash woman... constantly cleaning up the mess and misfortune of someone who is always the victim. Boy I really want to stomp my feet right now! I wish I could just pout my way through life and have someone make up for my slack!
3. Then there is that other person in your life that you should be able to count on. They should be loyal to you because you play on the same team but no matter which side of the fence you are on they always intentionally choose to be your opposition. Even though I consider myself very loyal, I have this strong desire to dust my hands free of this person.... frankly not a very loyal thing to do so I guess I will try to lead by example but... BOY I AM SO FRUSTRATED I JUST WANT TO STOMP my feet and throw myself on the ground! Why do I have to be the better person when I just dont wanna be!?!?!
4. LABELS ARE ANNOYING! They are so itchy! Especially the ones on the back of the underwear. Dont act like you have never had an itchy underwear label. Labels suck... but whats worse is the metaphorical labels. I have so many types of labels that I want to discuss... lord have mercy it would take me all day! Like people who judge people from West Virginia or people who believe city people are smarter... and dont even get me started on the race and sex labels!
I have been to many places in my life. I have met a lot of different faces. I have been up and I have been down. I have been the one up high pointing that nose to the sky... until I was the one down below looking up the nostrils of some jerk!
I have hurt and been hurt, so now that I have been on both sides, I like to think of myself as wise. I try to keep an open mind and watch my words. I DON'T know the path that my neighbors have walked. Before I speak I often wonder, not of the brand of shoes they wear but about the path that they had been on that wore those soles down. So when I try to be so conscious it hurts me when other people are not! It hurts when people dont recognize the fact that I have walked a million miles in my pair of off brands AND GUESS WHAT!? ME AND MY SHOES GOT SOUL/SOLE BABY!!!!
My sneakers and I made it through fire and ice but these people don't see that! They are still comparing my sneakers to bright and shiney Nikes that just saw soil for the first time. So walk around the block a time or two with me and by the time we are done...I guarantee you wont be looking at my shoes!
Sometimes your words hurt people and they make me want to CRY!
OKAY, SO I made it through this post with out using names... granted I have bit my tongue until it was barely attached...I have scratched my itch until it bleeds and tomorrow when I wake I am sure to pick the scabs... I have kicked. I have screamed. I have stomped my feet and I have cried...
My husband and I joined our church last week. We have really enjoyed our time there. We both take so much away from the services and try to apply them to our life and our marriage.
The Sunday before last our minister preached about "not everyone deserves a trophy" and how sometimes life just isn't fair. My husband nearly jumped out of his seat to AMEN during the service because he says that all the time! Then last Sunday my minister talked about the importance of forgiveness. Things hurt. We get mad but at the end of the day where are we left at? This coming Sunday he will be discussing the questions surrounding "unanswered prayers".
So as I take what I have learned from the sermons over the last few weeks I am going to try to apply them to the above. Eventually I am sure I will have to tactfully confront my thoughtless family member. I am going to have to use my patience with the victim and hopefully I will learn somethings Sunday about that unanswered prayer. I am going to have to turn the other cheek to those who are unloyal to me and I will have to lead by example to those who misjudge others. On top of all that I have to realize that though I feel like I should get a trophy for putting up with all this, life isn't fair. I wont be receiving a trophy.
BUT.... who wants a trophy when you have a pint of Ben and Jerry's!!!