Pages

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Water Fall

I have thought along time about how I would write this post. I am lacking the words. I don't like to write about the bad stuff. Its not because I want to portray my life as something better than what it really is, it's just... There is so much negativity in the world and I am not one to wallow in it. I refuse to wallow in it.....

When I finally arrived home from work late Friday night ,I was exhausted. I was exhausted from a long week of work and emotionally exhausted from the divorce. But Friday night when my head finally hit the pillow I couldn't sleep. I laid there in my quiet empty room awake staring up at the ceiling. "Whats next", I wondered.

All these unanswerable questions crept into my head like the blanket of darkness that surrounded me. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall trying to catch an air pocket to breathe. I was drowning. I finally let the flood overtake me but not before I drifted off to sleep.

In my sleep I dreamed of pouring rains and rising water. I gasped for air as I jumped up from my sweat soaked sheets. Relieved that it was just a dream, I tried to catch my breath. But the hot stagnate air in the bed room replaced the rising water in my dream. I opened the bedroom window. The gentle breeze swept in clearing out the choking humidity.

As my body started to cool I drifted back to sleep.

When morning finally came, I knew I had to get away for the day. But where would I go!?! I needed to see something that was beautiful. I needed to feast my eyes on something that was breath taking for all the right reasons...

I knew of just the place!

I threw on a t shirt and shorts and grabbed Sammy's leash. Sammy must of heard me grab the leash as he excitedly ran to investigate.

"Come one boy, Its just me and you today"... I thoughtfully paused... "Just like old times", I soberly said.

I hooked Sammy to his lead and he excitedly trotted to the truck. It was a long two and half hour drive. There wasn't much silence though as my head was full of constant dialog. Sam patiently look out the window occasionally turning his thoughtful gaze upon me. There is no doubt he was reading my mind. He would occasionally look over at me and warmly closing his eyes... Yes, With all the inconsistencies in this world, one thing will never never change... my dog will always love me.

Photobucket

We finally reached Fall Creek Falls around noon. The Falls parking area was bustling with people. People from all over... People of all walks of life yearning to feast their eyes on something amazing and breath taking for all the right reasons.
Photobucket

Sam and I climbed down to the cascading water. The trek was too steep to go any lower into the gorge with Sam on a lead. The sound of the rushing water ran across my soul, soothing any weariness. It was exhilarating. The refreshing mist that danced in the air, a refreshment for the skin. I felt real. I felt alive and in the moment...
Photobucket

The moment was soon interrupted by a new flood of people. I took one last look and clicked my jaw for Sam to follow me to the Nature Center.
Photobucket

The Nature Center was littered with people. I stood looking at the door for a moment debating if I should tie Sam up to go in to get a map. Just as I decided to do without a nice lady offered her map of the park. I graciously accepted and said my thank you's.

I walked over to a lonely picnic table to reviewed the map. I studied the map for a long time. There were so many places to go. There were so many trails...so many paths....Which one should I take???

Something so simple began to seem like a life altering decision. But before frustration got the best of me, I concluded, "what the hell, I don't need a map"!


Sam and I walked away from the flock of people searching for view. We went on our own path, along the trickling creek...
Photobucket
Up the hill...
Photobucket
A path less traveled. Each step I took I began to realize how far away we really were...
Photobucket
For the first time in my life, I realized of the possibilities of being lost in the wilderness...For a split second caught myself  thinking "O shit, just a few feet to the left or to the right and I could really be lost! Thats the funny thing about being lost, it only takes that first initial step in the wrong direction... (That sounded like an epiphany!)

 Sam and I finally came to a clearing. I looked out across this deep gorge...
Photobucket
This huge hole now separated us from where we once were only an hour before. What a difference a few feet in the opposite direction make... Its good to see another perspective.

Sam didn't like walking away from the water. I noticed he started to slow down a bit. He wouldn't drink and he when I stopped to rest he paced back and forth.... Finally I became concerned that he was becoming over heated. Perhaps turning back would be best, I questioned.

We turned around and headed back towards the Falls.
Photobucket
Sam became happy and exuberant as the sounds of rushing water grew nearer. He pounce his paws against the ground and excited lunged towards the water.
Photobucket
He cooled his weary legs in the stream... and I sat on a rock and watched him bath.
Photobucket
I thought to myself... It doesn't matter where we are... If we are coming and going.... climbing or cascading... Its all pretty irrelevant. And when things are looking grim, mother nature has never failed to sooth my weary soul.
Photobucket

16 comments:

  1. Leigh - was thinking of you last week & stopped by here to make sure I hadn't missed an update. It's hard to post condolences without them sounding trivial or even rubber-stamped. So I won't.

    I hope that you are able to find peace and positivity in your new direction. I'd bet that you have the tools to get there. I hope that you are able to give yourself the time to get there. It probably feels like uncharted waters from here, but you are not the only one.....by far....who has been through this.

    Hang in there, think meaningful and positive thoughts, and post updates when you can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Leigh,
    Couldn't spot the comment link yesterday, was just reading this again today and the same thoughts That I mailed you with stand, you've written a sorrowful yet beautiful piece here.
    As always, your friend
    John

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am glad to see that you are back. I am sorry about the divorce.

    Life has its twists and turns, but I find, as you have, that Nature always finds a way to sooth us. Remember that it is who you are and what you do, not what you have and who you are with, that matters. Find peace and joy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice views you have there and about the best company man can wish for. Not to mention the weahers i see in your pics....Here i had a lousy spring weekend trip,under grey pale cloydy skies,and loads of ice cold rain,in about temps between +3 to -2C... :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, Leigh. I sent you an email. CHeck it when you can? Hugs. Laurie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Leigh,

    Sorry to hear things have not been well. I share the same reticence about writing about the bad stuff for precisely the same reasons you stated. I still do on occasion, but usually after some careful thought. Still, I view it as a victory whenever I choose to focus on the positive in my blog. With this last post, you did the same. I can't imagine many better ways to cope than to spend time in nature with a dog (I can't tell you how many times being with Zico has put me in a better state. Much cheaper than a shrink!)

    You've always been so encouraging and have cheered me up when things were bleak and I hope I can do the same for you, even if it's in a small way. It's funny, Leigh, even though we've never met in person, I consider you a friend. Your kindness and compassion shines through in your blog and in the comments you leave on mine. With that said, know that I'm in your corner and will offer any support I can.

    Wishing you the best!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Leigh, I have been where you are, I know all about it. The grandeur of nature has a way of putting our lives into perspective. You have written so beautifully here about its effect on your state of mind. I hope you will find peace.

    ReplyDelete
  8. come on Leigh, grab ahold of those boot straps and get on with your life. God never dealt you a hand that you could not play. Beautiful pics, beautiful dog and great writing. So very glad that you're back with us. You were missed

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was a beautiful day, and I hope you can dwell on the beauty of that experience when you need it. To me, those pictures certainly tell a story I am familiar with, for melancholy and beauty go hand in hand in my book. But that´s me, and not you.

    I sincerely want to thank you for sharing those very private thoughts.

    My very best wishes to you. Hope you keep feeling the soothing touch of mother nature always.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fab story me old mate...You write so well...Give the dog a sausage from me...Best wishes from sleepy Devon...J

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are on the right path. This post was a journey in an amazing direction.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just checking in on you to see how you are doing, and to try to brighten up your day for a second or two. How ARE you doing? I hope there is sun where you are, and spring has found you, and the dogs, chickens, goats, kids - all are doing ok... sit in the sun, and soak it up. The Vit D is good for you, and it's good for your soul as well. Be kind to yourself, rest a lot, seek peace as often as you can. Lots and lots of love, prayers and thoughts, Laurie

    ReplyDelete
  13. beautiful scenery, liegh. enjoyed the trek in my mind as i followed you in the park.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey, just want you to know, if you are back around here checking in, ever, that I am STILL thinking of you, STILL praying for you, and STILL hoping things will become better and happier in your life SOON.
    Lots of love,
    Laurie

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you were doing. My intuition told me you were gone for more than met the eye.

    It's a weird feeling when you're walking down a path you never knew was there, let alone one you never thought you would take. I know.

    When you grow accustomed to the new path and the fog has lifted, you will breathe deeply and confidently and laugh harder than you ever thought you could. I know.

    Hugs to you sister friend.
    ~Andrea~

    ReplyDelete
  16. Just some positive thoughts and encouragement to you.... if you should feel sad.

    ReplyDelete