I have thought along time about how I would write this post. I am lacking the words. I don't like to write about the bad stuff. Its not because I want to portray my life as something better than what it really is, it's just... There is so much negativity in the world and I am not one to wallow in it. I refuse to wallow in it.....
When I finally arrived home from work late Friday night ,I was exhausted. I was exhausted from a long week of work and emotionally exhausted from the divorce. But Friday night when my head finally hit the pillow I couldn't sleep. I laid there in my quiet empty room awake staring up at the ceiling. "Whats next", I wondered.
All these unanswerable questions crept into my head like the blanket of darkness that surrounded me. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall trying to catch an air pocket to breathe. I was drowning. I finally let the flood overtake me but not before I drifted off to sleep.
In my sleep I dreamed of pouring rains and rising water. I gasped for air as I jumped up from my sweat soaked sheets. Relieved that it was just a dream, I tried to catch my breath. But the hot stagnate air in the bed room replaced the rising water in my dream. I opened the bedroom window. The gentle breeze swept in clearing out the choking humidity.
As my body started to cool I drifted back to sleep.
When morning finally came, I knew I had to get away for the day. But where would I go!?! I needed to see something that was beautiful. I needed to feast my eyes on something that was breath taking for all the right reasons...
I knew of just the place!
I threw on a t shirt and shorts and grabbed Sammy's leash. Sammy must of heard me grab the leash as he excitedly ran to investigate.
"Come one boy, Its just me and you today"... I thoughtfully paused... "Just like old times", I soberly said.
I hooked Sammy to his lead and he excitedly trotted to the truck. It was a long two and half hour drive. There wasn't much silence though as my head was full of constant dialog. Sam patiently look out the window occasionally turning his thoughtful gaze upon me. There is no doubt he was reading my mind. He would occasionally look over at me and warmly closing his eyes... Yes, With all the inconsistencies in this world, one thing will never never change... my dog will always love me.
We finally reached Fall Creek Falls around noon. The Falls parking area was bustling with people. People from all over... People of all walks of life yearning to feast their eyes on something amazing and breath taking for all the right reasons.
Sam and I climbed down to the cascading water. The trek was too steep to go any lower into the gorge with Sam on a lead. The sound of the rushing water ran across my soul, soothing any weariness. It was exhilarating. The refreshing mist that danced in the air, a refreshment for the skin. I felt real. I felt alive and in the moment...
The moment was soon interrupted by a new flood of people. I took one last look and clicked my jaw for Sam to follow me to the Nature Center.
The Nature Center was littered with people. I stood looking at the door for a moment debating if I should tie Sam up to go in to get a map. Just as I decided to do without a nice lady offered her map of the park. I graciously accepted and said my thank you's.
I walked over to a lonely picnic table to reviewed the map. I studied the map for a long time. There were so many places to go. There were so many trails...so many paths....Which one should I take???
Something so simple began to seem like a life altering decision. But before frustration got the best of me, I concluded, "what the hell, I don't need a map"!
Sam and I walked away from the flock of people searching for view. We went on our own path, along the trickling creek...
Up the hill...
A path less traveled. Each step I took I began to realize how far away we really were...
For the first time in my life, I realized of the possibilities of being lost in the wilderness...For a split second caught myself thinking "O shit, just a few feet to the left or to the right and I could really be lost! Thats the funny thing about being lost, it only takes that first initial step in the wrong direction... (That sounded like an epiphany!)
Sam and I finally came to a clearing. I looked out across this deep gorge...
This huge hole now separated us from where we once were only an hour before. What a difference a few feet in the opposite direction make... Its good to see another perspective.
Sam didn't like walking away from the water. I noticed he started to slow down a bit. He wouldn't drink and he when I stopped to rest he paced back and forth.... Finally I became concerned that he was becoming over heated. Perhaps turning back would be best, I questioned.
We turned around and headed back towards the Falls.
Sam became happy and exuberant as the sounds of rushing water grew nearer. He pounce his paws against the ground and excited lunged towards the water.
He cooled his weary legs in the stream... and I sat on a rock and watched him bath.
I thought to myself... It doesn't matter where we are... If we are coming and going.... climbing or cascading... Its all pretty irrelevant. And when things are looking grim, mother nature has never failed to sooth my weary soul.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
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