Come By Chance

Into the wild

2011-12-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

I woke to the sound of eerie silence Christmas Eve morning. The quiet stillness in the house was almost heart wrenching. I missed the children terribly. It was our first Christmas apart. I rolled over in the bed and stared at the ceiling for about 30 minutes before I decided to "function".

As I slipped into my favorite pair of blue jeans and tossed on my hiking boots, I knew I needed to just "step away" from it all, just for the day. Years prior when I was weighed down and needed to rid myself of inner turmoil I sought refuge in the woods. The crunching of the leaves would whisper friendly sounds. The wind would carry away any doubts or fears. The mist from rushing waters refreshed the soul... I always found solace in the wilderness.

For months I had pulled up the Tennessee department of Environment and conservation website and studied various parks and conservation areas. Out of many of the places I discovered, I had my heart set on the seeing the Walls of Jericho.

The Walls are found within the 21,453 acre Bear Hollow Mountain wildlife management area. The area extends across the Cumberland Plateau between Tennessee and Alabama along the state line. I never truly understood vast wilderness, and although I know there are far more primitive places in the world... this would eventually be my first taste...

I packed dried banana and mango, a couple bottles of water, chapstick and mittens, before calling my father and informing him of my intentions. Before hanging up the phone we made plans that I would make it back on time to have Christmas Eve prime rib with him and my mother.

"I love you, daddy", I thoughtfully said as I hung up the phone. "I love you too Smooch", he said. (My dad has called me that ever since I was little)

I loaded the car and headed toward Alabama. The 21/2 hour long car ride didn't take long at all. My loud obnoxious off key singing amused me greatly as I rocked out to Kings of Leon, Mumford and Sons, Foster the People and so on.

The road twisted and turned up the plateau. I turned the radio off and rolled the windows down. I inhaled the crisp winter air. I let the atmosphere wash over me. The breeze hit my fingertips that held slightly out of the drivers side window. The views were magnificent. I was happy for the escape.

There were several pull offs along the way. I finally found the parking labeled "hikers". I was surprised to find three other vehicles in the parking lot.

Dust still stirred around an older dark blue Mercury Sable. A man jumped out of the car leaving the door opened and briskly walked toward the port-a-jon. His little dog jumped out of the car and wandered around the parking lot untethered. I stepped out of the car and looked around. I pulled my phone from my pocket to send my father a text message,"Im here... Alabama hiking trail.".

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and inhaled the clean air. I heard the man whistle for his dog. The car door shut. I turned to see the blue mercury exiting the parking lot.

I stepped onto the hiking trail. The path was clearly marked as it twisted and turned down the plateau. It was fairly easy hiking but it did cross my mind that coming back up might be a different story. I was about 45 minutes in when I came across a fellow hiker. She was a pleasant lady fitted in fairly nice hiking gear. I could tell that she wasn't an amateur as her boots were worn for wear. She was hiking with her three dogs. I stopped and chatted with her for a bit. The largest dog of the three laid down at my feet as we chatted.

She said I was about 30 minutes from the first walk bridge. She warned me that the hand rail wasn't real stable and advised me to use it more for balance verses something to firmly grasp or lean against. She told me that once I start to see the large cliffs go back farther into the gorge or I will miss the really beautiful parts of "The Walls of Jericho". I assured her that I wouldn't miss it.

I continued on my way... There was a beautiful spring pouring water down the mountain side.

The trail fluctuated from fairly level to gradually slopping. I came to a rocky area but as I looked around there was a cane break on a gently slopping part of the hillside. I walked towards it to investigate the native shoots.

I turned around to get back on the trail but I had became confused at this point. I looked down and saw the trail ahead and walked towards it. This was possibly one of the many mistakes I had made thus far. I should have focused at that moment to figure out where exactly I came from verses where I was going but I continued on...

I could hear people ahead of me talking. Finally a family came briskly moving up hill towards me. I am assuming that the man and woman were actually the parents and the gentleman that was with them was their young adult son. They were also fitted in full hiking apparel. At this point it did start to cross my mind that perhaps I underestimated the hike.

I took the ebb and flow of the terrine in stride. I finally came to the first walk bridge. I must confess when I saw it I laughed out loud. I wasn't expecting what I found...

Even at this point the trails were fairly friendly. The only real obstacle at this point was my physical condition. Note to self: work out more often.

I followed the path across a second bridge... urgh.... very similar to the first one but much more stable. After I crossed the bridge I came to a field the sat steadily between the two mountain sides... I felt so far from civilization as I looked towards the vast mountain sides.

Shortly after passing the field the terrain started to change yet again.. The path gradually became rocky and steep. There was a briskly moving stream littered with boulders directly off to my right...

I could feel my energy waning and my ankles were really starting to ache as I wasn't use to walking on such narrow uneven terrain. I kept my determination. "I have came all this way to see something breathtaking, I will see it", I thought.

I pulled my phone from my pocket once again to check the time. It was starting to look like I would be missing Christmas Eve dinner. It was 2:00 pm. It would be dark in a few hours. Taking in consideration the time it took me to get to Alabama and I had already been hiking for roughly 21/2hours. I decided I would give myself 15 more minutes and if I hadn't reached the walls yet I would just have to come back some other time. That thought was greatly disappointing. I needed to make the most of my time so I moved forward along the narrow trails that weaved beside the cliffs.

About five minutes past this point (referencing the picture above), I realized I might just be in trouble. I recall taking a step and my vision blurred. It felt as if the ground and hillsides moved in a psychedelic manner. I knew then that my blood sugar was low. I stopped for a moment to pull a few strips of dried mango from my back pack. I stared off into the distance....

I looked at the steep mountain around me. I had a long way back to civilization. I had no choice. The walls would have to wait. I knew that they weren't going anywhere but if I wanted to ever see them again I had to get the hell out of there.

"Getting out", was a key motivator in my quick pace. I drank water as I walked rapidly back the way I came from. I started to feel very hot. The first bridge I came to I had to stop and peel off layers of clothing. I had made it just past the second bridge when I started to feel nauseated. I started wreching up mango and water a quarter of a mile later. I would walk a few feet and then heeve into a pile of leaves and walk on again.

I finally came to the first cane break that had distracted me previously at the beginning of my hike. The path was clearly marked except for this one area. It was hard to distinguish were I had originally came from because all the boulders looked a like to me. I thought I had found a slightly worn path so I took it, but what I had originally thought was a human walking path became apparent that it had been made by the local deer. As I lost sight of the marked trail below me I began to panic. I decided to walk back to the marked trail and try again to find the correct path. I climbed back down. I look right in front of me and it looked as if the path came to a dead end.

There was nothing but large boulders in front of me. I had a decision to make. I could go back down to the camp site about a mile down and stay the night. That really wasn't a reasonable option. It would be very cold in the gorge at night and I wasn't sure my fire lighting skills were up to par. I thought about the children. They would be returning Christmas morning and I wouldn't be there. My blood sugar was rapidly dropping. I was feeling disoriented and couldn't hold down food. Who knows what kind of physical shape I would be in in the morning.

I decided to trek straight up the mountain. If I had to sleep on the hillside at night so be it. I felt like eventually I would hit civilization as 16 South runs along the top of the mountain. I also had a better chance for cell phone coverage.

The incline was much steeper than what I had encountered throughout the day. I prayed as I climbed over boulders and rocks that I didn't accidently slip my hand or foot into a snake den. I continued to vomit in route.

I gradually lost sight of the trail that I had left behind. I started to have doubts. What If I veered too much to the right or left and I wasn't going straight up from the path at all!?! Did I make the right decision? Panic started to set in.

I pulled my phone from my pocket. I was "out of network". Fear washed over me... I could see it all coming to head, five o'clock news headliner, "Dumb ass gets lost in the wilderness Christmas Eve". I knew I needed to have a pep talk with myself. "Leigh, chill out, calm down, think, move forward", I said out loud.

Then once my outer voice became quiet my inner voice spoke out loud. "O GOD!", I whimpered in fear just before I began to dry heeve.

I stood up and hear two beeps, signaling incoming messages from my cell phone. That was the signal of divine intervention. I now had hope! The first message was from my father, asking me if I was going to be on time. The second one was from my friend Joel asking me if I was enjoying the hike.... My answers at this point were no and NO!

I messaged my father back. I cant remember what I said but it was something along the lines of. "I'm in the woods, I'm sick and I need help". I sent Joel a message that stated "I'm lost and my blood sugar is low." Neither message went through at the time. I was ready to cry. I was so frustrated discouraged disappointed and LOST! I again had to regain my sanity. The bright side... I got some sort of phone service.

Again my head started to spin and nausea took hold of me. I dropped to my knees clutching the leaves as I emptied bile onto the ground. I was freezing cold and shivering as sweat dripped from my temple.

I stood up as I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve and pulled the long stray strands of hair back into a pony tail. I dialed 911 on my cell phone. I held the dialing phone in my hand as I hiked on hoping that eventually I would get service. Finally I gave up in fear I would drain my battery. I looked down and noticed I had one bar of service so I dialed my father. My phone cut in and out but I could hear my mom. They had received my messages. I tried to tell her where I was and the situation but the phone cut in and out. I could hear the terror in her voice as she frantically said "I cant hear you. Are you ok? Where are you?"

"Mom I am off the trail, I'm sick, I'm lost, I was on the red Alabama hiking trail, I came in to the gorge from the ALABAMA side", I yelled as if it would help her hear me through bad reception.

I hung up and walked on. I finally came to the upper level of the marked path. If I had the energy I would have dropped to my knees and kissed the trail but I knew I wouldn't be able to get back up. I looked down at my phone. It was 3:45. I walked on. My reception still was coming and going. I only felt the alleviation for a few moments. The climbing really depleted my energy and I couldn't even hold down water at this point. BUT I knew I was better off than what I was. I was back on track!

I continued to get sick along the trail and my cell phone was in and out of coverage area. But apparently I picked up a signal and I had pocket dialed my father. All he could hear in the back ground was me wreching. His panic set in. He felt helpless. He didn't know where I was or if I would be coming home at all. He wiped a dribble of tears from his eyes and called the rangers. He was getting his things together for a rescue.

My legs trembled as I put each foot in front of me walking forward. Joel had received my message and asked if he needed to call in a ranger. I messaged him back to tell him I was back on the path, sick but I thought I could make it out. Then I lost service yet again.

I finally reached the hiking trail entrance and immediately called my father. We briefly talked and he let me go so he could call off the search party.

I was so relieved to make it out, and I learned a lesson among many but ultimately the greatest lesson learned... Never underestimate the wilderness...

AND... Of course there is that lesson that has been burned into us all many times as children...

Try once and if you don't succeed, try try try again!

Alabama bound!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

As I sit here this morning I am thinking about the holidays... If I squint my eyes real hard and focus on the meaning, I can almost see it....

I see the faces of my parents...

Not too long ago I had to skipped out of work for a morning. I needed to travel back to the country, past the rolling cow filled pastures and roads littered with fallen leaves. I had tell my parents that I wasn't well. That morning... We cried....

I am crying now because I am so so thankful that when I squint my eyes to see the meaning in the holidays that I have those loving faces looking back at me...

My gratitude may not always show but know that it swells and boils over in my heart...

As I get distracted in this world. It takes my focus. Again I try to see the meaning... I see my brother. My big brother Joshua. I cant explain my connection to him but if you ever had a sibling you are close to then you get it. He is the guy that can always make me laugh to tears. There is no other male in my life that will understand me like my brother Josh.

The best memories I have was with this kid....

I am thankful for my Sister. How she came into our lives is blessing in its rawest form. There isn't a thing in this world that I couldn't talk to her about. She is truly one of the strongest people I know.

Not only is she strong but rare.... Rare in that her external beauty shines on throughout her heart.
I love you Sista.

I am thankful for my nephew. He was the first born. We got to make all the mistakes with him (smiles), "No kids, just ask Dominick what happens when you eat ice cream sandwiches for breakfast". I am thankful for the strong arms of my nephew. I will never forget that early morning outside the donuts shop. (Happy tears, sad tears, loving tears...)

I am thankful for my friend Charlie. Our times sitting on the porch watching the leaves fall, talking about the meaning of life, laughing in the circle of trust, cuddle time during "How I met your mother"... and sweet sweet tequila (tah-keel-ya).

I am thankful for my best friend Holls. Damn.... that's all I can say. I could write a book about us. From 6th grade on... catching the tent on fire, the famous toilet ring, the box of secrets.... the days you didn't leave my side.... the things you said... the things you know.... Monumental is what you are!!!

To truly be thankful you have to understand what blessings you have.... you have to embrace every aspect of thankfulness....

I am thankful for my ex-husband. There is a lot to be said for 11 years... the most obvious, the two beautiful children that we made. Thank you for the memories, the children.... and the friendship.

So with much effort... I get it. Today I will look over the early Christmas trees, the ceramic turkeys, and fruit filled cornucopias.... and see the people that I TRULY love.... the people I am MOST thankful for.....

Earning My Degree

2011-11-13T11:08:00.000-08:00

Come By Chance is in a different place currently but I tell you with absolute certainty, although traveling in a foreign land, the destination has not changed. This is merely training.

The cold seeped from the concrete stoop and bleed through my pajama pants as I sat outside of our small two bedroom apartment in the city. I delicately laid the large stack of unopened bills next to me. I stared across the litter parking lot, watching a candy wrapper flit and bounce with the breeze. O how I was craving the woods. I squinted my eyes for a moment. I pretended the trash was a blissful delicate autumn painted leaf... Then shaking free from my fantasy, I looked around, "I cant believe I thought this was a good idea", I sadly reflected.

As I wrapped my arms tighter around me, the wind blew splinters of cold through my jacket. I inhaled the evenings cold air. With each detoxifying breath, calm cleansing and deep, I exhaled each crisis of the day.

Just as I was releasing the stress, my doubt crept back in. A tight knot formed in my stomach, " BUT, what am I doing here and why?"

The sirens from the hospital had started to drown out my thoughts. Then drawing my attention to the right, a sound closer to home. A car door five spaces down slams shut. A young mother screams at a man still standing beside the older white Honda, "your a fucking jerk", she says as she angrily fumbles for the correct door key. I just sat there gawking at their intimate BUT yet public display.

The pizza delivery guy pulls in next to my car. With little notice he casually walks in my direction. Still avoiding eye contact he says "whats up", but then absently hovers over me. "Its not mine", I snipped. Without a word he turns and knocks on my neighbors door... The smell of fresh pizza reminds me that I have almost a week before my next pay day.

My cell phone rings. I can feel my heart rate hasten as I see its an ex-boyfriend calling...

The sounds of sirens fade into the distance. The couple's bickering is no longer seen behind their closed door. The smell of pizza fades from my senses. My calm is restored as I pressed end to my ringing phone.

I'm here in this place. So far home, finding my way is going to take focus and determination. At times it will feel like I my efforts are insurmountable.

It is easy to react in the calm. Focus is simple in perfect conditions. It is when the chaotic world around us that pulls us in every which direction do we learn what true focus and determination is.

There will be times when I am listening off into the distance or wondering about someone else's life. There will be times when I am envious of others simple fortunes and times that I just have to shut off my feelings... but in the end I will steady myself and find my focus. I will regain my footing. I will learn to hear the breaths of my sleeping children over the the sirens echoing around me. I will focus on my soft inner voice over the yelling of others.. I will find happiness in the blessings of other people and I will have a love that's all mine again.

When I look at the world around me, I realize the magnitude of cause and effect and the toll it takes on our senses. Our reactions count!

A few years ago after hitting a road block, I mastered the art of being self sufficient. I can grow a garden and raise healthy livestock. I am capable of ending an animals suffering and carving a simple bowl out of fire wood. I have conquered many of the physical tasks life can bring. I can and have embraced the simple life.

It is only here in this place of chaos that I have moved on to the next stage in this educational degree of life... Now I have complex task of learning to Master ME....

Stepping Forward

2011-08-13T06:17:00.000-07:00

Time leaves no traces, no paths leading backwards.

Time knows no reverse.

Time is a force not a measurement.

It pushes us.

It propels us, whether it be willingly or unwillingly into the the future.

Time creates a light often masked in darkness.

And each step in time is MONUMENTAL second.

BE THERE!

Be there in that moment and make it golden.

A golden second in time.... a golden force...

Because time is untraceable, immeasurable in the realm of living.

And once that beautiful golden second is gone it can never be recaptured again...

From there, the golden hour of time, those memories will shine a light into the future...

Which reaffirms the importance of making every second count,

Make every moment golden.

Its the only way to light the path ahead.

Time leaves no traces, no paths leading backwards. Time knows no reverse.

Time is a force not a measurement.

It pushes us. It propels us, whether it be willingly or unwillingly into the the future.....

Compassion is love and love is an art..

2011-07-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

When I became a mother... I became aware that everyone is someones baby.... When I became a mother... It was as if I become the custodial guardian to the earth and her children... and when our children cry... we all weep...

Saturday afternoon I was weaving in and out of the cluttered streets of Nashville. Slews of fast paced people walked the sidewalks, seemingly, headed towards a specific destination. Not a soul wandered with out a destination. Even those sitting with their backs pressed against the wall strumming their guitars for coins were headed somewhere... perhaps in all little time but definitely somewhere.

A mass of people briskly walked towards the pub. I noted a blonde headed man had smiled and shook the hand of the dark haired man that had been walking towards him. The blonde held the door as they walked in... Defiantly not close friends yet but once the drinks ease the flow of conversation, I am sure the day will end with a closer bond... and possibly wondering if they said to much...

About a block down a curly headed little girl about 3 years old happily wrapped her arms around a little boys neck. She squeezed him so fiercely that his wriggles towards freedom proved a weak attempt. I am pretty sure she let go before the disgusted little boy turned a brilliant shade of purple.

A man and woman wearing matching Khaki shorts and tan hiking sneakers briskly walked up the street towards the park. "Very healthy people", I thought... I even stereo typed them into the category of people who probably eat large bowls Kashi cereal and orange juice after their morning jogs together.

A few blocks down, there were brightly dressed people in wedding apparel, shuffling towards a large White Methodist Church that vainly adorn pink ribbons and bows. I huffed a bit at the elaborate display... All that just to say I love you?

For some reason when I thought about the displays of I love you's, I was taken back to the image of the men at the pub, the children and the couple walking towards the park.

Love comes in many shapes and sizes, some loud and boisterous other calm and conservative...

Just as I was about to have this long drawn out conversation with myself about the shapes and sizes of love something caught my eye... Something... Someone I will never forget.... The image of this... this person will forever be embedded in my mind....

I saw someone's baby... Someones innocent.... lost.... little baby...... His dark black frail body glistened in the strong afternoon heat. Sweat dripped down from his brow leaving a trail down his cheeks. His ribs protruded underneath his thin skin like a thin black sheet hiding a sack of bones.

He stood about 6 feet tall and too close to the road. His eyes were shut as his head tilted up towards the burning sun light. It was apparent that he was out of his mind. He rocked back and forth on his bare heels as he chanted loudly at the sky above.

I wish I could have understood what he said... I wish I could have understood how he became what he is... He probably doesn't even know himself...

He didn't know how close he was to the road... nor was he aware of the blistering from the hot asphalt on his naked feet. He probably was completely unaware that I was watching him, completely unaware that my heart grew and sank at his presence...

Compassion is love

Then there was a lady wearing a git up that reminded me of the world war II women's work force, "We can do it" poster. She climbed the stairs to the Art museum that was featuring an Andy Warhol exhibit.

I was almost one of those people... Headed towards the museum to see someone else's interpretation of art but then I realized, that in my heart I had made my own....

Love is a complex art...

The Vessel of Life

2011-06-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

The first time I talked to the car salesman last week I thought I was literally going to be sick. I have made so many wrong decisions, I cant afford to make another one. Even though, inside, I had wished that someone else could make the decision for me, I knew that I had to do this on my own... by myself... for myself...

I researched the possibilities. I went back and forth with the pros and cons. I listened to the guidance of my friends and family. I did everything that I could have done in order to make the best decision. Although, I ultimately ended up purchasing the first car I test drove, it wasn't the only car. I know I made a good decision. It was the right and practical decision for my new life. The funny thing about good decisions is that they don't always make us feel happy.

I did everything I was told. I negotiated. I walked away from the table. They called me back and Monday evening we started the paper work. I was purchasing my very first vehicle, all by myself! But the entire time, there was this dull pain in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't quite figure out.

Today, my colleague (and good friend) took me to the dealership to pick up my new car. When I pulled in, it hit me, "I wont be driving Big Red anymore...". I know its silly, but at that moment my heart sank. That truck had been with me during what I hope was worst parts of my life. We have so much history together. It accompanied me when I went to seek inspiration from the quiet country side. Her low hum often soothed my breaking heart. She escorted me to dinners with beloved friends and family. She safely carried my loved ones on fabulous adventures.... And together we witnessed breath taking views....

It wasn't the proud tears of independence, or even about parting ways with an old friend. It wasn't the relief of a fearful newbie reaching the end to a painful car shopping experience. Today I walked away from the truck that literally bore the weight of Come By Chance. She pulled horses in trailers, hauled lumber, chickens, goats and happy children... In short? It was a symbolic farewell.

This evening, we said our goodbyes and parted ways. On the quiet drive home in my new fuel efficient Nissan Versa, I didn't wipe away just a few tears. My shoulders shook with heart breaking sobs. And for every mile home, my new car quietly whispered.... "in due time... in due time..."....

I cant say that today was the beginning of my new life but it was definitely a defining mile stone along this road of mine...

Where is this new vessel going to take me? Who knows!?!

Sunset

2011-05-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not searching for the light...

The Water Fall

2011-04-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

I have thought along time about how I would write this post. I am lacking the words. I don't like to write about the bad stuff. Its not because I want to portray my life as something better than what it really is, it's just... There is so much negativity in the world and I am not one to wallow in it. I refuse to wallow in it.....

When I finally arrived home from work late Friday night ,I was exhausted. I was exhausted from a long week of work and emotionally exhausted from the divorce. But Friday night when my head finally hit the pillow I couldn't sleep. I laid there in my quiet empty room awake staring up at the ceiling. "Whats next", I wondered.

All these unanswerable questions crept into my head like the blanket of darkness that surrounded me. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall trying to catch an air pocket to breathe. I was drowning. I finally let the flood overtake me but not before I drifted off to sleep.

In my sleep I dreamed of pouring rains and rising water. I gasped for air as I jumped up from my sweat soaked sheets. Relieved that it was just a dream, I tried to catch my breath. But the hot stagnate air in the bed room replaced the rising water in my dream. I opened the bedroom window. The gentle breeze swept in clearing out the choking humidity.

As my body started to cool I drifted back to sleep.

When morning finally came, I knew I had to get away for the day. But where would I go!?! I needed to see something that was beautiful. I needed to feast my eyes on something that was breath taking for all the right reasons...

I knew of just the place!

I threw on a t shirt and shorts and grabbed Sammy's leash. Sammy must of heard me grab the leash as he excitedly ran to investigate.

"Come one boy, Its just me and you today"... I thoughtfully paused... "Just like old times", I soberly said.

I hooked Sammy to his lead and he excitedly trotted to the truck. It was a long two and half hour drive. There wasn't much silence though as my head was full of constant dialog. Sam patiently look out the window occasionally turning his thoughtful gaze upon me. There is no doubt he was reading my mind. He would occasionally look over at me and warmly closing his eyes... Yes, With all the inconsistencies in this world, one thing will never never change... my dog will always love me.

We finally reached Fall Creek Falls around noon. The Falls parking area was bustling with people. People from all over... People of all walks of life yearning to feast their eyes on something amazing and breath taking for all the right reasons.

Sam and I climbed down to the cascading water. The trek was too steep to go any lower into the gorge with Sam on a lead. The sound of the rushing water ran across my soul, soothing any weariness. It was exhilarating. The refreshing mist that danced in the air, a refreshment for the skin. I felt real. I felt alive and in the moment...

The moment was soon interrupted by a new flood of people. I took one last look and clicked my jaw for Sam to follow me to the Nature Center.

The Nature Center was littered with people. I stood looking at the door for a moment debating if I should tie Sam up to go in to get a map. Just as I decided to do without a nice lady offered her map of the park. I graciously accepted and said my thank you's.

I walked over to a lonely picnic table to reviewed the map. I studied the map for a long time. There were so many places to go. There were so many trails...so many paths....Which one should I take???

Something so simple began to seem like a life altering decision. But before frustration got the best of me, I concluded, "what the hell, I don't need a map"!

Sam and I walked away from the flock of people searching for view. We went on our own path, along the trickling creek...

Up the hill...

A path less traveled. Each step I took I began to realize how far away we really were...

For the first time in my life, I realized of the possibilities of being lost in the wilderness...For a split second caught myself thinking "O shit, just a few feet to the left or to the right and I could really be lost! Thats the funny thing about being lost, it only takes that first initial step in the wrong direction... (That sounded like an epiphany!)

Sam and I finally came to a clearing. I looked out across this deep gorge...

This huge hole now separated us from where we once were only an hour before. What a difference a few feet in the opposite direction make... Its good to see another perspective.

Sam didn't like walking away from the water. I noticed he started to slow down a bit. He wouldn't drink and he when I stopped to rest he paced back and forth.... Finally I became concerned that he was becoming over heated. Perhaps turning back would be best, I questioned.

We turned around and headed back towards the Falls.

Sam became happy and exuberant as the sounds of rushing water grew nearer. He pounce his paws against the ground and excited lunged towards the water.

He cooled his weary legs in the stream... and I sat on a rock and watched him bath.

I thought to myself... It doesn't matter where we are... If we are coming and going.... climbing or cascading... Its all pretty irrelevant. And when things are looking grim, mother nature has never failed to sooth my weary soul.

At Day Camp...

2011-02-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

This is why we don't take the goats on picnics.....

Life is a canvas..

2011-01-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

Lee asked Sissy the other day, "When is your front teeth going to come in, I want your teeth to come in!"

Sissy looked at her father and sternly replies to him, "DON'T RUSH ART"!

Apply Accordingly...

Some things never change...

2011-01-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

This morning the moon accompanied me as I did my morning chores...

As I walked to the barn I kept my eye on the moon. In my world of uncertainty I found comfort in knowing that no matter what, the moon will remain in the sky and the ground beneath my feet....

My peaceful morning walk was met by the brisk morning air. The glowing moon shimmered across the snowy ground, leading me to my four legged friends.

Milo, the barn cat circled between my feet while my dairy goats, Jasmine and Jessica called for me to hurry with their morning grain.

I took in a deep breath. Just as I was about to exhale the stresses from my life, suddenly I wondered, "What is that smell?"

And then I made a frightful discovery...

This is the third time I have had broken eggs in my pocket...

And so.... though at times I find comfort in the things that will forever remain steadfast...
I am still annoyed by the things that I have yet to change.

The Legend of "Sitting Hen"

2011-01-15T05:06:00.000-08:00

For Karen, One of the most fabulous people I know!!!!
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When a Chicken goes missing or perishes during the night, some believe that a predator has taken them. But the legend at Come By Chance acres tells a slightly different story .....

Once many many moons ago a young pullet was out free ranging. She enjoyed her free time in the lush green fields with the bright warm sun beating down on her tail feathers. Life was great! But each day she would stray further searching for more worms seeds and berries. One day the little pullet reached a woods line. She knew the woods was a dangerous place to go. The woods was dark and scary. She knew that there were bears in the woods... and fox and raccoons! But the little hen spied a blackberry patch. All those delicious berries were far to tempting.... She excitedly clucked her way through the under brush and had her fill of the sweet blackberries that lured her away from the safety of her home.

Quickly night came. She didn't know what to do!!!! She began to panic. Her instincts told her to roost. She searched for a large tree, where she could roost high up in the sky. "Nothing will get me here", she thought.

When morning finally broke, she realized that in her search for a high roost, she had wandered even deeper into the woods... She was so frightened that she couldn't bring herself to leave the safety of her tree.

Over time the little hen had other instincts. She built a nest out of tree bark and leaves. There she laid thousands of unfertilized... empty spiritless eggs. She continued to sit on her nest... She so badly wanted to hatch a clutch of her own. If she just had one chick she wouldn't be lonely anymore.

She was too scared to leave the tree in search for other chickens. Her fear of leaving the safety of her tree crippled her spirit so badly that when it was finally her time to return to her maker in the sky, her spirit could not make the travel. Her spirit now lingers between two worlds

Legend has it that she finally found her way back to the coop. Awe but yes, but she still yearns for little ones of her own.

She comes in the middle of the night in search of other stray chickens. She steals their spirits and places them in her empty eggs in hopes that one day, she may no longer be alone.

So when a chicken goes missing or perishes in the night its not a wild predator but it is the "Sitting Hen in The Woods", coming back to the coop collecting spirits for her empty eggs.

The silhouette of Sitting Hen in the Tree marks as a reminder to put the chickens up at night.

Thanks to my pops for pointing out the chicken in the trees. ;-)

Loving the skin your in...

2011-01-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

For the Females....

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Loving the skin your in...

It hasn't been that long ago that I had to go to the doctors for my annual check up. I am like most women, I dread going. I shamefully admit that the last time I went was the month after my three year old son was born. Its not that I just openly refused to go back but it was one of those things that I just kept putting off and the next thing I knew, three years had passed.

Nothing gave me a kick in the butt to get to the doctors like visiting the subject of gynecologist with my good friend Rose. Her mom died of cervical cancer when she was just thirteen years old (a critical time in a young girls life might I add). She told me that her mother had just missed one annual exam. By the time her mother got around to making the next appointment it was basically too late. Hearing of Roses story once again reminded me that no matter how much I dread that appointment, it must be done.

So I made my appointment and trekked to the big city of Nashville. Once I arrived at the doctors office I was warmly greeted by the staff. It was like seeing a group of old friends. It was nice to sit there and catch up with everyone and of course I showed off pictures of my growing kidos. One of the nurses is a West Virginia girl so we talked about home for quite a while as well.

Finally it was my turn to go back. I should confess that there has been more than one occasion that I have canceled a doctors appointment just because I didn't want to be weighed. I know, everyone go ahead and scold me at once but don't act like you haven't at least thought about it before!

So I get on the scales and my nurse (who I am friends with) exclaims "Goodness you have lost a ton of weight since your last appointment"... "A yeah, that happens when you give birth", I said sarcastically with a smile.

I made my way back to the exam room where I was greeted by my doctor. I should say that up until this point I have always liked my doctor. I think that its important to have a a friendly relationship with your doctor in order to make the whole thing less awkward. We chatted for a bit as he did the exam. He made a comment about my flat stomach. I said thanks and smiled. I was really proud of myself for loosing all the baby weight. I felt good about my body!

I had felt better about my body than I had in years... that is until my doctor suggest, "a tummy tuck would get rid of those lines", pointing to the light marks on my lower abdomen. He proceeds to tell me he could set me up with a physician who does "Mommy Makeovers". He goes on to do the breast examination and says "the Mommy Makeover package includes a tummy tuck and breast augmentation". I can not even begin to tell you how bad I felt at that point. I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

When my doctor suggested these things, I did not hear them as suggestions. I heard "you need to lose more weight, you need to work out more, you don't look good". I know that isn't what he said, but that is sadly enough what I heard.

Ok... now let me tell you. I have worked on writing this post for a few months now. Yes, that is how shy I am about discussing stuff like this... so you can just imagine the amount of trust I would have to have for someone to just see me naked!!! Do you see where I am going with this???

I walked into the doctors office feeling good and positive about myself but when I walked out I felt like I was all wrong. I felt like I needed "fixing".

On my way home I thought long and hard about what my doctor suggested to me and when I say I thought long and hard, I confess, what I was thinking wasn't about whether or not I should have the elective surgery but I was already thinking of how was I going to pay for it! Then some where between Charlotte and Second Avenue I thought..."what the crap!?!?!? I cant afford surgery". I felt so down on myself all the way home. I was broken and even worse...unfix-able. I became angry that I allowed to fool myself into thinking that I had actually done good.

The weeks following I started to physically self destruct. My new diet was killing me.

One evening I was laying in my bedroom watching TV with Sissy and Aubs. Sissy laid her head on my stomach and my shirt slightly slid up revealing a few faint lines just above my pelvic bone. She ran her finger across them and said, "This was my side". I smiled at her and said "Yes".

When I was pregnant with Sissy I carried her on my right side, the lines there were from her and on the left side was from Aubs. The lines on my stomach affectionately reminded her of all the stories of her birth. She then slowly began to recite each story about her life in the womb, Like when she kicked me in sync to Dean Martins Thats Amore. (one of my favorite prego stories by the way)

It was in that moment that I realized that wanting to change my body was absolutely ridiculous! My daughter affectionately looked at my scars and in them she did not see ugly or broken... She read them as if she was reading a love story. She looked at them as if they were something beautiful and golden.

I will never look the same as I did before I had children and you know what? I am okay with that. I am a woman now and my body speaks of a love story.

So this post is for all my girls. You are beautiful and never let anyone tell you any different. No man woman or doctor should ever make you feel inadequate.

Your body is golden. Love it, respect it, and take care of it.

Just a little bit red neck...

2011-01-07T05:51:00.001-08:00

Just the other day I ran into one of my friends from high school. It was so nice to catch up. Our conversation broke out into a fit of gut wrenching laughter when we spoke of our first night frog gigging together.

Here the story goes....

When I was in high school there were several cliques of kids... There were the The preps, The stoners, The Christians, The nerds, The trouble makers, and The rednecks. I was the loner. But never was I alone. I drifted from one group to the next. Hmmm, perhaps that made me the drifter instead?

Anyways, I had my preppy friends that I went shopping with. I participated in a few "stoner" functions that lead me to be excepted in the stoner crowd. I need to pray for partaking in the stoner functions so I attended church with the Christains. I enjoyed spending time with some of the "nerds"... and I dated almost all the trouble makers. I was almost a well rounded kid, except for the redneck part.

Don't get me wrong. I am a bred and born redneck. I just never felt the need to advertise it. But this crowd did. Nothing screamed billy bad ass redneck more than driving into the school parking lot in a loud over sized truck with a set of iron balls hanging off the hitch and your man fitting a tight pair of dusty old wranglers with a skol ring on the back pocket. Yeah our school had a ton of these kind of fella's.

Although I had friends in various cliques, the red neck crowd was elite. You had to be a true horse ridin', beer drinkin', squirrel huntin' redneck to be excepted with in this crowd. In high school, I was none of those... That is, until the spring of my junior year.

I had became friends with a prep, a Christian and a redneck through our common disdain of one of our classes... I cant remember which subject because well... I don't think we ever broke from our on going conversations to pay attention to which class we were in. Despite our labels we weren't all that different. Hell living in middle Tennessee its not like there was a lot of culture to set us that far apart! But this class was where a mix of random people became friends. We later discovered how we weren't that much different after all.

Rose was the girl that went on trail rides, went skeet shooting, smoke cigarettes, and could out drink any guy in town. She was a real southern charm. ;) Really! Nikki on the other hand, was the kind of girl that wore name brand cloths, painted her toe nails, and went shopping every other day. Pam, went to work and to church. That was the extent of Pam's socializing.

So one Saturday evening during late July, like most of the kids in town, we congregated at the old parking lot along the main road of town. We were all sitting on the tail gate of Rose's pick up truck. Thats all of us with the exception of Pam of course. She had to work her job at the local Micky D's.

Every once in a while someone we knew from school would pull in. We would get the news of a party or a recent fight.... but not a dang thing was going on that night of any interest to us. We were bored to pieces.

I cant remember who exactly hatched the idea, although I am fairly sure it was Rose but the next thing I knew, We were in the midst of executing what seemed to be a swell plan. We were goin' giggin'! Rose went home to get her pistol- in case we ran across any snakes. I went to home to grab my dads gigs and Nikki called her older friend to get us some.... ehm... "refreshments".

Here we were, three intoxicated seventeen year old girls trespassing on some farmers land to go frog giggin'. I will never forget that night. I remember thinking it was official, "no going back now". I will forever be an out of the closet redneck.

I was absolutely terrified that we could get caught trespassing, or caught carrying a deadly weapon, or underage consumption, and (what would have terrified my dad to no end)... "giggin'" without a permit! But beyond all those fears, I was far more terrified of the scary mysterious things that lurked in the deep dark water! Well hells bells, the terror was what made the whole thing so exciting!

I remember the first frog I speared. I was standing in dark murky water up to my knees. I caught a glimmer as I shinned the flash light along a dam. I closed my eyes when I gigged the massive frog. Suddenly fears of being caught completely wained. We all hooped and hollered like a bunch of rabid coyotes. "Now what", I thought? Of course I handed my gig over to Rose, I wasn't about to pull it off the gig!

The real fun came when the three off use drove through the McDonalds drive thru to show Pam our "trophies". We held up the muddy pillow case of frogs to the window. I had anticipated a grossed out scowl from Pam but nope... not a grossed out at all. The truth was she was pissed we didn't wait for her to get off work so she could go too.

By the time we made our way out of the McDonalds parking lot there was a large crowd forming at our parking spot. We pulled in, stinking and covered to the hilt in mud. Rose hopped out of the truck to greet her boyfriend with a kiss. I was new to the redneck scene. I assumed that the girls went frog giggin' on a regular basis. So when Rose's boyfriend asked where we had been, with a huge smile on my face, I proudly held out our pillow case of frogs from passenger side window of the truck... just about that time Rose's boyfriend and his slew of friends nearly lost their dinner.

Due to the boys reaction, I frowned and looked over at Nikki, "Whose going to clean them ", I wondered out loud. O NO! Rose returned to the truck and off we went to clean our catch.

Rose was in charge of the cleaning process. Nikki and I just watched. I remember my stomach turning just a bit and thinking perhaps it would have been best not to have alcohol swishing around in my gut before this task.

I was standing directly in front of Rose when she preceded to show us how to cut off their heads and skin em'. The street light illuminated our dark working space as Rose put the first unconscious frog on the cutting board. Just as she was about to behead it, the frog made a miraculous recovery. He slipped out from underneath the knife blade and flew DIRECTLY TOWARDS MY FACE. I bout crapped my pants. I screamed and took off for the hills!

Later, (after my friends retrieved me from the woods), I discovered that barbecued frog legs are awesome!

The conclusion to todays post.... we're all a little bit redneck... just embrace it.

My Game Cam works

2011-01-03T20:25:00.000-08:00

Holy Crapola! My game cam can actually take pictures of something other than me trying to see if its on!!!!

Birdhouse Gourds

2010-12-29T16:07:00.000-08:00

Preparation always helps me fight off cabin fever..... Preparation? Spring preparation of course!

The children and I decided to work on our bird house gourds. We grew the gourds ourselves two gardens ago. At the end of their growing season they were pitched into the rafters of our barn for drying.

(Recycled picture)

We have used the gourds over the last few seasons for various art projects, but this time they were turned into something of practical purposes....

The plan was simple, using a gourd no smaller than a 8 inch diameter, drill an entry hole, drill seep holes in the bottom, and two holes in the neck for hanging.

But first they had to be washed and scraped. I used a metal swatch to get the layer of mold off.

(Recycle picture)

After they dried the holes were drilled and cut. We cleaned them out, collecting the seeds for use in the spring.

Then we painted them white.

Aubs eventually painted most of himself as well... good thing he wore his work hat...

Hopefully in the spring we will have a string of inhabited bird houses across our garden.

- Remember that when you invite the birds into eat the bugs from your garden you should not use pesticides.

*Wink*

In the Land of Milk and Honey

2010-12-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

The barn yard is quiet. All the animals are snuggled warmly in their bedding. Milo is probably curled up in the hay manger. Lee and the children are fast asleep as the winter snow falls from the night sky. Its a beautiful night.

I am sitting here quietly by the warm fire. The flickers from the flames cast faint shadows on the walls. Their dance makes my eyes heavy and ready for sleep. I had wished this evening to dream, day dream of the things to come and reflect on years gone by. But the flames of the fire are lulling my eyes to heavily drift. It seems as though I may have to dream a dream and keep the day dreams for tomorrow. We will see how long it takes before the winter warmth sends me to my bed...

Christmas is gone. The planning that went into the holidays have finally came to head and soon will be completely passed. The decorations will be dismantled and the holiday rush will now dwindle as we all begin to hibernate into our cozy homes.

Now to come are the days of dreaming of gardens and fences, kids, chicks and bee hives, tractor parts and compost bins, gravel driveways and blueprints. Now that the holidays have passed its time to sit by the fire sift through seed catalogs and dream of warm summer days.

I have to laugh at myself a little. Its funny how my perspective changes through the long winter months. This past Aug. I was overwhelmed and lost over our gardening failure. I said next year we will go smaller.... The winter months heals the seasons loss and prepares a new soil, renewing the spirit for further growth. O yes, this year the garden will grow! It will be bigger and better than ever!

I can hear the sounds now. The bees will buzz out of their hive across the herb garden. The sun will shoot down wistful rays of light. A light breeze will blow and the smell of bee balm and basil will tickle my nose. Milo will leave little paw prints in the soil as he chases the strings I am using to tie my last tomato. Our lonesome rooster will crow out a loud song reminding me to throw him some corn. The girls will stand at the fence as Jasmine calls out for her turn on the milk stand.

The evening sky will slowly creep down on us as we finish that final row. The children still happily playing. Between the rows of corn, they will run. The warm silky dirt will feel like heaven between their toes.

The warm summer nights we will still sit by the fire. Under the pavilion the chimenea will blaze while we drink mint tea. The dogs will sprawl out at our feet. Heavy my eyes will get as I watch the summer flames prance. I will wish to day dream about the things to come but my weary muscle will go limp as the flames set weights on my lids... The Whippoorwill will call out to me as the light breeze gives my hammock swing a gentle rock and fast asleep in the land of milk and honey I will walk.....

Seeds of Negativity

2010-12-23T13:10:00.000-08:00

My Christmas gift to all of you is that I didn't publish the post the I wrote this morning.

Merry Christmas.

Seriously, it was a post filled with all the things that are wrong unjust and plain annoying in this world. Maybe I am crumbling under the holiday pressure? Maybe its the economic pressure. Maybe its both? Either way the negativity is doing a number on my impressionable spirit... (I can only imagine how my children feel)

So this morning in a fit of frustration and mild rage I wrote out a blog post filled with viral word vomit. Yeah, getting those feelings out were good for me once I said my peace I took a deep breath and stepped outside for a few minutes.... but I am tired a paying the bad feelings forward. Who needs those kind of feelings the day before Christmas?

Luckily I left the post in my editing box, while I mauled over my feelings. I concluded that the world isn't fair and all the obsessing in the world isn't going to change it. Change starts within.

Lee and I have been surrounded by a lot of negativity lately. Although it is nice that people trust us enough to confide in us and that the government has enough faith that the middle class will persevere through all this economic crap, our spirits are getting over taken by the weeds of negativity. The only way to free ourselves is to pluck out the weeds that are trying to challenge our growth.

I already started making out my new years resolutions and let me tell you I had a whopper of a list.... but unfortunately this year I'm not going to be able to get to em'... My goal of dropping 15lbs is going to have to wait until next year.

This year I am cleaning out the shed. Losing the baggage. Mending the chip on my shoulder... Its growing time baby! Weeding out the seeds of negativity is going to take all of my effort and focus. My first plan action will take place this evening over a nice glass of wine and spending time with the Steve Miller Band, Credence, and my pals Three Dog Night. Yeah their company always gets the feel good feelings flowing. Then first thing after holidays I am getting bumper stickers made that says "Feel burdened, frustrated, angry, abandon, neglected? Family Problems? Having trouble paying your bills? Upset over the economic crisis? Please feel free to dial a prayer... Leigh has checked out for the year."

Strange World

2010-12-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Last evening we had a very light drizzle coming down from the heavy gray clouds but the air was comfortable. The light misty rain reminded me of ocean spray. My walk down to the barn rehydrated my skin with out drowning me... it was an even balance... nature in its perfection... soothing and calm.... better than any day at the spa. (not that I have ever been to a spa)

Oddly a December drizzle has never felt more comfortable. I really enjoyed my evening chores.There was this nice soothing feel to the air... it made me long for a hammock. Yes, it felt so good outside that I would have laid down and slept with the misty drizzle and all.

After the chores, I sat down on the bench outside the barn. Milo walked over to me and jumped up on my lap. We sat underneath the shed roof and listened to the sounds. Milo's low purrs hummed a gentle lullaby.

As we sat there, I could hear a flock of geese flying in the distance. "I have never heard geese out this late", I thought. But on the other hand, its not like I get to just sit and listen to sounds very often either.

I could hear them flying through the deep gray clouds above me. "Where are they going", I wondered? I listened to them for so long that I had started to wonder if they were flying in circles... Were they confused?

I listened longer. The sound was faint but consistent.... Maybe its me, Maybe the geese are in my head and I am bonkers?

I listened a little longer. Finally the honking geese quietly trickled away. I could hear something different. Something was walking through the woods at the bottom of the hill.... "What is it", I wondered? "Where is it going"? The leaves shuffled with each step. Apparently I am not the only one who enjoys being out in this type of weather.

Milo and I sat there quietly taking in the sounds and feel in the air until the once gray sky had turned to black.

The sounds of the neighbors car door awoke my thoughts reminding me that it was time to go. I needed to head back to the house.

As I walked passed the garden, I heard a final "nay" from the goat stall... Once I made that last curve around the fence, I was greeted by the loud sound of a motorcycle billowing down the road. It startled me, as if I had just had ice water poured over my head while taking a nice hot shower. And it was then that I thought...........

How strange it is too walk among two worlds at once and even stranger it is to be torn between the two....

Catching a beat down and some colorful words...

2010-12-21T03:10:00.000-08:00

This evening was slightly warmer than our last few evenings due to the sun finally gracing us with her presence. Yet I still decided to throw on my bib overalls anyways. I may as well be comfortable if I am going to be at the barn for any amount of time this evening.

I really wanted to check Jasmine over again. Her bawling is driving me nuts.... sometimes I can hear her crying when I am not even at home! Her nays have gotten to my brain like a terrible song stuck on repeat in the memory!

I bundled up good and made my way down to the barn. The walk in the cool evening air did my spirit a lot of good. As I met the far corner of the fence Jasmine and Jessica ran happily in my direction.

"Good evening girls", I cheerfully said.
"And Miss Jasmine, what seems to be the problem with you dear?"
Jasmine ignored my small talk and walked a few feet in front me batting her tail around and occasionally crying out.

I figured I would use this opportunity to sneak a peek and see if we have any type of heat indications in the female regions....

Here I was walking along sort of minding my own business. Ok, I wasnt minding my own business really. I was trying to keep up with Jasmin with out spooking her and look towards my left trying to see if there was any "activity" under her tail and then WAM! What the!?!?!?! A sweet gum tree jumped out of NO WHERE! O yeah that'll teach ya!

Anyways, after I regained consciousness (just kidding), but I did have to scrap together my dignity, I managed to really check Jasmine.... and yep... she is in heat. I mean I hope thats what that was!

So this evening I started emailing people about trying to obtain stud service. I really really wish we had a buck of our own because trying to find someone on the spur of the moment isn't very much fun.O which reminds me, I have learned a new Dairy goat Lesson that I would like to share with all of you.... take note of these little trial and error lessons and learn from my mistakes. These are the little things that they don't teach in the "how to books".

Lesson In obtaining stud service for your Does:
While seeking out stud service for your doe's you will find that very few people will want to offer stud service. They are much more inclined to try to sell you buckling (baby boy goat)! Remember, no matter how frustrating it gets during your mass emailing expeditions.... DO NOT title your email subject line with, "AT THE MOMENT ALL I NEED IS STUD SERVICE". Your emails may not get opened... or you may just get some very colorful responses....

All the Best,
Leigh

Longing for Male Companionship....... ?

2010-12-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

This is the third day in a row that Jasmine has bawled none stop. She stands on top of her rock and cries and cries and cries. What on earth is her malfunction!? She cries more now than when she first arrived here almost a year ago.

I think it is even getting on Jessica's nerves. Jessica has put distance between her and Jasmine. Before the girls would be inseparable in the pasture. So inseparable, that we have often wondered if they were sharing the same blade of grass! Now Jessica (the kid sister) will even go in the barn all by herself, leaving Jasmine out in the pasture to cry.

I have been kind of concerned. At first I thought it was because of the cold spell. My goats do not like extreme temperatures but Jessica the sensitive one, hasn't been crying like that! Then I thought maybe she had hurt herself. After I gave her a check up, I decided that there wasn't anything physically wrong. What a mystery this is!

But still my poor little goat longingly looks off to the distance and cries out.... Is she crying out for a beau!? Does she dream of the day of a handsome buck coming to whisk her off her hooves?

I haven't noticed any tail flapping but it does make me wonder...

What do you think? Does this look like the face of a doe pining for a lover???

Never a fair weather friend

2010-12-14T00:15:00.000-08:00

This evening while walking down to the barn to do the evening chores I looked up to see Jasmine and Jessica step out of the barn running towards me. Their tails were down and their fur was bushy as they shivered and cried out to me. Milo reluctantly took slow painful steps through the snow in my direction.... at that moment it dawns on me why is it that I love these guys so much....

Wind, rain, snow, cold; no matter the weather, they are still always willing to meet me half way....

We shall meet again.

2010-12-12T16:30:00.000-08:00

"I'm just butter! Butter I tell ya!!!!

Easily slice me open with your savage nature.... Aye but then turn around and melt my heart with those beady brown eyes!!!

BUTTER!!!! I'm butter, I tell ya!!!"

If you have been following the blog you know that I have been obsessing over my mystery predator.... and when I say obsessing I'm not exaggerating! I Heart Mysteries!

If you need to be caught up to speed read Adventures in Tracking.

After consulting a few of my tracker pals, I was told to sweep the site (under the shed roof of our barn) and then place the bait in the center. Clearing the site should give me a better imprint of the tracks. I also left my live trap baited.

This morning I woke to a beautiful morning. It was 47 degrees here, with beautiful clear skies. I walked slowly down to the barn enjoying my morning stroll.

Last evening was the third night of baiting the live trap. I came up empty each time. So I really wasn't expecting anything.... O but there was a different feel in the air today! Something was going to be very different!

And to my surprise!!!!!

"Well, well, well, what do we have here", I said with great joy.

"So you have been the one causing my barn yard to stir".

"Your the one that ate my beloved Jeeves and Belvedere"....

Then this friendly Virginia Opossum looked up at me, with those little marble eyes, and cute fuzzy smoke colored furry face, and would ya just look at that adorable dirty pink little nose!?!?! and

"O crapOla, Im melting.......................... I'm Just butter"!

I didn't have my camera on me and after all the hoopla and such, how could I catch something and then not share it with all of you!?!?!?!? So I had to walk back up to the house.

I knew that once I returned to the house that Lee would quiz me about the uncontrollable smug grin across my face. (If I could have quit smiling I would have.)

O yes, he knows me very well! He would know that I have caught something in my trap!

I wondered, " O NO! What shall I do"!?

Lee doesn't enjoy killing things. He hunts but its not something that he obsessively enjoys.... but in this circumstance.... Lee was Not going to be butter.

Well in the end, sure I had to bat my eye lashes and talk in my real sweet southern draw... and I did listen to his half hearted stern voice say, "WE ARE NOT RAISING ANIMALS TO FEED TO THE WILDLIFE", but see the thing about Lee is well... when it comes to me, he IS butter!

I know that I am just prolonging the inevitable. I can think of a million reasons why I couldn't. Why I didn't.... To name a few; I think the opossum must be my animal spirit. I have said it a million times over, "they just have a soft spot in my heart that other furry creatures don't have".... They are fascinating creatures to me. North Americas only Marsupial!

Can you blame an animal for surviving... for eating??? I mean, I like chicken too!!!!! I eat it all the time!

I'm grasping at straws here I know... and the thing about straws, is that eventually someone draws the short one...

until another day.....

BUT until another day....

Adventures in tracking

2010-12-09T16:02:00.000-08:00

When the whispers are heard upon the once so deaf ears....

Adventures in Tracking...

We had five free range Roosters last week. All but one were taken in the night. The first to meet the dim fate was one of the youngest. At night he perched low on a bench, making him an easy target. I found his remains in the barn, only the breast missing. It was almost as if he was just killed for sport. I wondered if Milo the barn cat had anything to do with it. Two days later the next was taken. I say this shamefully but neither of the first were terribly missed like the following two.

There was a break in the killing spree, almost a week. Then it picked up again. Our pet Roo Jeeves being the next. We were all sadden by the loss of our beloved Jeeves. We tried to catch the remaining two but could only catch one. The elusive Belvedere met his fate the following night.

The loss of my boys weighed in my subconscious mind. I dreamed I found Jeeves in the woods, injured but alive. The dreamed lingered in my mind. I decided to investigate... "just maybe", I had hoped.

Last night after I set my live trap, I had traced the path down the hillside but then the trail turned to the North side of the property. The cold evening air lingered on my face but as I found more evidence my adrenalin kept me warm. I followed the trail to a clearing in the fence. I was startled by the downed fence and cleared brush. I wondered, "am I dealing with an animal!?!?!" The night sky was quickly falling on me and with my new startling evidence I decided that I had carried it far enough. Quietly the moon illuminated my chilling walk back towards the house.

Today I bundled up my littlest one. "Were going to solve a mystery, Aubs" I announced. Aubs was excited to be apart of anything mysterious. I assumed he over heard my plans to go for a stroll as he grabbed his snow suit and began to rummage around for his missing fish net.... but then he announced, "Lets go squirrel hunting".
Kids often have a set of plans of their own. I obliged his squirrel hunting tale and off we went... Aye BUT not before I distracted his attention from the search of the fishing net, or course.

We made our way towards the barn. The slew of feathers scattered around the barnyard and field made it look as if there had been a massacre of greater numbers than 4. I found no feathers of the little ones but Belvedere and Jeeves were easily found. I suspect they put up the greatest fight.

My trap was empty... perhaps my predator wasn't a scavenger? Maybe he didn't like my selection of scrap bait (pizza and eggs)? We picked up the trail at the (missing) fence again. Upon daylight examination, deer had probably just knocked down the old loosely strung wire. There was a heavily trampled path through the open fence. Yes the wild critters use this path often.

I was about 3 feet on the opposite side of the north property line when I notice the blood splatter painted across the leaves. There were a few stray feathers (Belvedere's) but much blood. I followed the worn narrow path down into a barn on the abandoned piece of property. Inside the lean-to on the north side of the barn I found a narrow burrow/ tunnel? I had finally came to an end.... all roads lead to home??? Is this the culprits home?

Coincidence? Maybe.

I decided to pick up the other trail. Following the trail that Jeeves had left on the east side of property line. The colorful leaves laid heavy along the ground. Aubs walked carefully beside me. I was very surprised by how quiet he was. Was he actually listening to the wilderness too?

A creamy colored object caught me eye. I did a double take but realized that it wasn't a bone. I silently took note that it was just the skin of a rotten Delicata Squash.

"Momma, its a bone", Aubs delightfully squealed out his discovery. I squatted down next to him, picking up the dried squash skin "Its the same color as bone, but look" I opened the paper-like fold to reveal a large pocket of seeds. "Its an old skin from our Delicata squash". He shook his head, conveying that he understood and then picked up a few of the seeds and placed them in his pocket.

We continued to walk towards the south east corner of the property. There were a few feathers scattered along the the way. The marking indicated that it was Jeeves. I bent down to pick up a clump of feathers. The breeze shook the trees and a faint whiff of decaying flesh tickled my senses... I knew that I was close to discovering more of Jeeves. I traced my steps backwards to make sure nothing was a miss. I took a long deep breath and the scent was gone. I returned to the original spot, kneeling down, taking note of yet another burrow... but this one was old. The leaves had piled over top of it. In the center was a pile of scat. I moved the scat over, taking note of the still frosty leaves covering the entrance of the burrow. I thought perhaps that this must be of a familiar place to the culprit but definitely not his/her home. This place had been left abandon long ago.

Once again the breeze blew by. I stood quietly listening. Then my focus was broken, Aubs! Where is he? I quickly turned to my right where he stood eerily quiet. His vision gazed off into the thick forest ahead. He is still searching... listening. The same child that would cry to have to step foot outside was listening to the wind.... maybe he is going to be an outdoorsy kid after all???

I stood beside him, quietly taking in the moment. Waiting patiently for him to get his fill of the great outdoors.
His movement broke the serenity of the moment. We walked a few more feet and then the faint smell of carcass tickled the senses yet again. Then I noticed it... A bone. I squatted down examining the area. The bone had been cleaned. What ever took Jeeves wasted very little of him. I scanned the area further for more , but I found nothing. Maybe there was more there that laid hidden... or perhaps my sense of smell has indeed been heightened since kicking my nasty little habit of cigarettes.

None the less, I felt satisfied with my findings and Aubs informed me that he was finished "squirrel hunting". We headed back up to the house. When I reached the far corner of the goat pasture, I turned around glancing back at the woods line. The frothy clouds scattered over the forest as two vultures soared high above the tree tops.

At that moment... I came full circle. Jeeves, Belvedere, the predator, the tracks, the leaves, the burrow, the vultures, connecting with my son, learning, listening, following... It all connected. At that moment... we all become one, apart of something bigger better and amazing.

I don't know what in the hell I tracked today.... but yeah, I found something... something larger than myself.

Catch up.

2010-12-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

What is the news at Come By Chance? Here's the catch up.... not to be confused with ketchup... or catsup for that matter... Yeah, I'm on the old cold medicine again can ya tell??? Sick to the bones again.

Last evening I sluggishly slipped on my boots and grabbed my jacket. I was just far too tired to muster the energy to slip on the old coveralls. I choose to freeze over the expenditure of energy. I slowly walked down to the first gate and struggled with the latch. I considered walking around the pasture and going through the barn door but o how those few kilometers looked like miles in the eyes of the sick and tired.

I finally made it through the gate and walked the girls to the barn. I took notice how fat Jasmine is looking these days. I think perhaps I need to cut their grain back as booth of them are looking a little pudgy. I finally had the girls snug in the stall and then proceeded to feed Milo his evening snack. The cat food overflowed as I stood there nodding off into a dream like state. Finally I finished the chores and sat down on the milk stand to catch my breath a bit. I looked over at the manger, to noticed that it had been comfortably slept in by something.... looks rather comfortable I thought... aye I can see me know "Leigh fast asleep in the Manger". I mustered the energy to head back towards the house but this time I took note in how long it took me to latch the gate. "Ill walk the miles instead".

I walked out of the door and noticed Belvedere perched quietly on the fence. I decided that I ought to grab him and put him in so his fate wouldn't be sealed like Jeeves. Belvedere is slightly less friendly and much wilder than what Jeeves was. He saw me sneaking up on him and jumped down making a run for it in the night. "CRAP"! I thought. He is fast and aggressive, He will be fine tonight I thought and I walked back up to the house.

This morning I woke to find that Belvedere is indeed fast and ferocious but it just wasn't enough. Sis and I were saddened by this mornings findings. He put up quite a fight. Much more than the others. His feathers were found on the north south and east sides of the barn. He fought hard I believe. Sissy angrily reminded me that I should have let her catch him the morning before,

"I am the best chicken catcher around, ya know", She reminded me.
"I know Sis", I said.

I should have set the trap the night before. I knew there was something wild out there. I have just felt really run down and tired from this cold that just wont go away. I feel bad that my animals suffered the consequences of my laziness. Part of homesteading is pushing yourself even when ya just don't feel like it.

Poor fella no more than received his name before his life was cut short.

I wondered now that all the free rangers are gone if I should even set the trap now. BUT, I fear that my predator isn't something that just eats chickens. At first I thought perhaps I had a lazy little opossum now I think I am working with something bigger and faster. Maybe a fox or a coyote. I have Milo at the barn that I have to think about as well. So I think I am going to set my trap but before I do, I suppose I need to see if I can release what ever I catch at the game reserve.... I just don't think I have it in me to kill it... even if it did take out our precious Jeeves. At first I was out for blood but now... now that I have had time to think about it, how can I hate something for surviving? That's what life is about right, surviving? Aye maybe its the cold medicine talking... Either way it would be nice to know who is visiting us at night... I REALLY NEED A GAME CAM!

Anyways so we have had a rough week here but soon things will turn around. We will be embracing something new and exciting that will make up for this weeks losses.

Comment

2010-12-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

I have recently received a few emails saying that they couldn't comment on my blog. I reset the settings. Hopefully the comment moderation issue has been fixed. Please let me know if there are further problems.
All the Best,
Leigh

Jeeves is gone.

2010-12-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

Hijeevey died today and we are all pretty sad.

Something has been picking off my free range boys.

Tomorrow I will set the traps.

Belvedere... Searching for that sweet Belvedere.

2010-12-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

One of my most favorite parts of the day is that refreshing morning walk down to the barn. Hijeevey and the other free range boys excitedly run to greet me every morning. Watching them run to me ALWAYS makes me smile. There is something so special about a happy chicken running in your direction. Seriously, if I ever get a camera I will film a video, then you will see the gratification! Guaranteed to make you smile too!

This morning was no different... Ok, well, slightly different.....

As soon as I stepped with in their line of vision they ran towards me. Our adolescent Buff Marans rooster excitedly stopped in his tracks, and proudly spit and sputtered his first cock-a-doodle-do. Then he continued to proudly run towards me like a child delightfully seeking praise from his mother. Although, it didn't sound like much, (sounded more along the lines of a old rusty weedeater struggling to start), it just melted my heart to pieces! And o boy, was he ever proud of himself!

Its tradition around here not to name a rooster until he has his crow. Typically if he makes it to full fledged "manhood", that means he is going to be a keeper.

So at that very given moment, it just came to me.... Our little Buff Marans rooster receive his name, Belvedere. Later I looked up the meaning. Belvedere, meaning beautiful view.... and so it is... was and will be...

Its weird here on the farm. One minute we are making decisions such as whose going in the stew pot and who we are are keeping. Then next minute we are praising the mile stones in the lives of our livestock as if they were a part of a human family... Which makes me wonder.... It makes me think that its quit perverse to categorize things into these little subpods of importance or lack of.... Society made the label; good, bad, important, unimportant.... Defining success and happiness simply by the way ones life is filed/categorized/prioritized. But by doing so we have lost all the connections to living.... its not all about the subject but its the threads that link it to another! Its not about point A to point B but all the gray that falls in between. How can we see the beautiful picture when the arrangements are neatly place in a labeled box? Where is the view in that?

So I guess I am saying...
Dump out the groupings and subtitles...
Forget about what others are saying...
Forget everything that you were ever taught of success...
Take the Leap...
Do what brings a smile to your face...
And ALWAYS keep your eyes peeled for Belvedere....

The girl who played among the trees

2010-11-29T15:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes our dreams are actually our reality in color...

Last night I had a dream. It has lingered with me like many of my more meaningful dreams do....

I saw a girl with long dark hair walking into a woods line with a dog. He was her companion. I know this because he walked willingly beside her. She never spoke or looked at him though. She didn't have to. It was like they were connected, internally linked. Each confident stride was like they were walking towards their preordained destiny. I wondered where they were going.

As the girls feet touched the leaf littered forest floor she morphed into a tall cedar tree. Her legs turned to ruff flaky bark, as the transformation continued up her body. The last part of her human self to change was her left hand. Simultaneously the dog morphed into a man. In the split second of their simultaneous transformation the man and girl were holding hands. He never looked at her but continued walking forward in his human form releasing her hand as the space between them widened with each step.

Then I woke up. I'm wasn't sure why the image of the dog man and the Cedar tree girl holding hands stuck with me. Having it do so makes me wonder of it's deeper meaning... Maybe it means I had an extra heaping of crazy?
...................

The other day I had made a comment to my mom that I wanted to plant pine trees along the our property line. She suggested that I transplant the volunteer cedar trees out of their flower garden. Although I understood her suggestion as being a good start for my project, I don't really like Cedar trees. I like the wood after its been planed. I like the smell of the wood, but as far as the actual tree... its not much to look at if you ask me.

I wavered back and fourth on the idea of transplanting them. Even though I don't really like the looks of cedar, I just hate to pass up free trees. "Surely I could fit them in somewhere" I thought.

As I was digging my holes for my new Cedars, I drifted back into images from my childhood. I use to play in the woods all the time as a child. My brother and I built our own little village out there. We moved fallen trees to create forts and collected stones to use as a work stations (for mud pies). But many times I found myself out in the woods alone with no one to play with me. I didn't like playing village with out any "villagers" so I would pretend that some of the trees were people. Specifically there was this super large tree. (I'm unsure of the variety). I would pretend that he was an old wise man (like a chief). He was a good strong man that looked after the village. He kept the peace. Then there was this locust tree. He was tall with long spines protruding from his bark. He was always causing a ruckus in the village. The old wise tree didn't like the grumpy Locust....

One day while playing in the village I stumbled upon a small cedar tree. This little seedling stuck out among the many because it had a strange orange fungus of some sort on its tiny trunk. I loved the little tree and pretended that it was a small child in the village.

Eventually the fungus spread. I dug my small tree up and showed it to my mom. She told me that the fungus would probably eventually kill the little tree. I don't remember if I shared with my mom how sad that news made me but I'm sure she knew as I was determined to save my friend.

I went out to my dads work shop and pealed the fungus off the little tree with his wood carving tool. I planted the little Cedar tree in the wind break row next to the house. I checked on the little tree often.

I drove by my old childhood home the other day and the once little tree is now a huge towering Cedar!

When I saw my childhood Cedar I thought "Wow, he has grown into a wise old man"!

So this morning as I planted this little guy,

I thought to myself... "Cedar trees are in my roots". I laughed at the epiphany.

Ice Poop and Thanks

2010-11-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

The frost is blanketing the ground with regularity these days. The leaves shimmer in the morning light with a million little diamonds sparkling across the ground. With each inhale I feel the crisp morning air cleanse my lungs. Even my face feels refreshed in the cold morning air. Its exhilarating. Here comes the days of my Schmidt insulated overalls and fleece lined jacket. I even dug out my deer skin gloves to keep my fingers toasty warm as I go about my morning chores.

With the hustle and bustle of preparing for the Thanksgiving Feast, I have felt withdrawn and rushed during my chores. Briskly I would pat Milo on the head or shout "good morning" to the girls as I would hurry about the feeding. I hate mornings like that. I like slowly strolling to the barn, gazing across the meadow, scanning for the wild flock of turkey that often eats breakfast in the field. I love listening to Hijeevey call out his morning crows as he sees me round the last corner of fencing. I like Milo weaving in and out of my feet as I attempt to walk without tripping over him. I like the time I spend there... just being in the moment.

This morning in order to get refocused, I threw on my bibs jacket and boots, reached from my hot cup of Joe and took me a little ole' stroll down to the barn. I sat on the kids wood swing and drank my morning cup of coffee. Hijeevey belted out his morning hellos. Milo rubbed his body along my pants leg. Jasmine and Jessica quietly chomped their cud, as I listen to the melody of sounds that sang out to my heart, drawing me back into my little piece of heaven. Here I can relax. Here I can breath. Even on thanksgiving its easy to forget to be thankful... but here, looking out at the trees, the grass, the animals.... here, I am easily reminded to give thanks.

Finally my meditative state had to come to an end... I said my final "thanks", and started the chores. Tuesday I cleaned the chicken coop but due to the freezing cold rain I had put off the barn cleaning for brighter days, which was this morning.

I started with the girls stall. For two little goats, they use the bathroom a lot! I piled the manure on last years garden plot. I examined a pile of goat poops from a few months ago... It was the darkest richest dirt I have ever seen! If you don't understand my excitement, come on over. Ill teach you how to become excited over poop and dirt! It's a lovely sight!

Next on the list, everyone needed watering. Everyones buckets were frozen over. Even the rain barrel had a couple inches of ice. While busting out the water buckets I was forced to remember our first winter with livestock (last year). For some reason the absolute most valuable lessons of homesteading with chickens slipped my mind!

*Never, I repeat NEVER bust the top layer of ice out of poopy chicken water with your mouth slightly ajar....

Its a good thing I gave thanks before the chores. ;-)

Tender Moments....

2010-11-24T07:21:00.000-08:00

Weekend wrap up; Thankfulness

2010-11-21T15:57:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. I know I did!

Friday afternoon I took a trip to the doctors. I told the Doc that I had a sinus infection and what I needed from him was an antibiotic. He asked me if there was anything else he could do to make me happy and I said "nope, that will be about it". He wrote me a prescription and because I made it so easy for him, he didn't even charge me! LOL Yeah right... then I woke up...

Seriously I went to the doctors Friday because I was sick. I was pretty sure it was a sinus infection, because my headache and sneezing started while working in the wood shop on my spoon a few days ago. So I did tell the doctor that I had a sinus infection and what I needed from him was an antibiotic. I'm normally not such a big baby that I would run to the doctors over a sinus infection but my mom and I were going out on sat, and I really needed to feel better. I told my doctor this and he said ok but he needed to do a few test first. I said I figured as much.

While waiting for my test to come back we chit chatted for a bit. My doctor loves to chit chat... yep he's a chit chatter. I love that about him. Anyways, I noticed that one of his fingers had been broken. I said "Hey doc your finger is all crooked like mine.

He said "yeah I noticed you had a crooked finger".

I was like... aaaa, Thanks???

Anyways, comes to find out he was a crazy navy man that like to hang out in bars, broke every finger on his right hand in a bar fight!!! I was like "ugh.... so did this inspire you to go to medical school? He was like," ugh, yeah sure right", and started laughing like he didn't go to medical school.

I was like "Doc, you went to medical school right" and he just chuckled some more... My doctor is a jokester, o yes he is... I mean... hmmm (scratching my noggin) I think he was joking....

Anyways he gave me my antibiotic along with some steroids and off I went... I didn't take the steroids though... I don't want to look like the female version of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator. I mean, I understand some women like that but that just isn't for me.

Saturday was a fun day out with my mom. Mom wanted help doing her Christmas shopping. I was excited to go with her. It has been years since we have been out just the two of us. The funny thing about me and my mom Christmas shopping is that my mom likes to shop as much as I do. So you can imagine how much fun we had complaining about the crowds, the prices, the germs, etc. My mom hates to shop! And out of all the hellish choices of stores that she could have picked to shop at she chooses the worst! O yes, she made me go into Toys R Us! It was pure chaos in the store. Screaming kids, screaming mothers, catatonic fathers, and lots and lots of germs. Toys R Us just about did us in. After we got back in the car, I think my cloths were tattered and my hairs was a tangled mess (I'm completely exaggerating).

Next we went to old navy. On the way to Old Navy, my mom said "Leigh, will you just pick out the Christmas gifts for me". I said, "okay". We get into Old Navy and I am looking around trying to knock people off my moms Christmas list when she says "Will you hurry up". I looked over at her questionably and thought "hmmm she should have clarified in the car that I was suppose to pick out the gifts but I also had to do such in a brisk manner. I shook my head and blankly stated "no, sorry that wasn't the deal". She knew I was kidding and I hurried to wrap it up.

Finally we were on our way home. I was looking back over my receipt stating that my bill was a lot higher than I intended. After examination of my items I realized I picked up the wrong size fleece sleeper suit for my baby nephew. Mom insisted that we turn around... but not before running over a trash can lid. We had to pull over in a car dealership to see if we were still dragging the lid. Lets just say it sounded like it. Anyways I jumped out of the car to examine the under carriage and out of my peripheral vision I see a salesman headed my way. I jumped back in the car and yelled out to my mom "gogogo, their coming" and off we sped away. Just kidding... sort of. I don't like salesmen. If I were to have stayed there, I promise you I would have drove home in a Cadillac Escalade....

We finally made it back to Old Navy. When we pull into the parking lot we notice there were fire trucks and ambulances blocking the main part of the building... "UGH, just my luck, a stand off at Old Navy, now I cant return the sleeper". I then noticed that there weren't any police cars so it must be safe I thought.

I exchanged the outfit and off we went... again.

By the time I returned home I felt like I had be beaten and the ran over by a bus. Night turned into morning and I have finally recovered. Next time mom and I go out... we will not be shopping!

Theres nothing like watching your chickens scratch.... unwinding from a busy day in the city.

I don't think I could cope living in a world surrounded by asphalt. I would have to go to a petting zoo to see a face as cute as this...

There is nothing quite like eating a homegrown mater snack and counting your sweet little country blessings......

Weekend wrap up; Thankfulness

Whats going on?

2010-11-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

There are so many little things going on that I wanted to tell you all about. If I write an individual blog post on each of them it will take me until Spring to get you all caught up. So here is a little update....

Remember the green tomato experiment in the shop? Talking about extending the harvesting season! We are eating garden tomatoes in mid November!

Before

After

Now I just have to figure out how to stagger the ripening. We are a little over ran with ripe tomatoes now.

Does anyone want to come over for some BLT'S?

My next big experiment was to carve a Welsh Love Spoon. My pal Martijn is an amazing wood carver. He was as so kind to send me over some templates. I confess I used electrical tools on my spoon and Martijn uses carving knives and gouges. (but Martijn has mad skills). Anyways this was the outcome of my first Welsh Love Spoon...

The next update...

Remember when my mom was going to teach me how to quilt but she couldn't because I didn't know how to use pair of scissors... or put pieces together? Well with no help from me, my mom finished her quilt!!!! I'm so proud of her. She worked her bum off! I didn't even last an hour working on this sucker. The entire quilt is hand pieced and hand quilted. Isn't it beautiful!? Way to go Mom!

There are various things in planning mode here at Come By Chance Acres. Top priority is to get our tractor up and running. We should have turned the garden by now but being this close to the holidays buying new parts for the Tractor will be put off until after the first of the year.

The next big project will be to extend the chicken coop. After the situation with Jeeves I realized that we really do need more space and a way to partition off an area for breeding pairs or in case of injury. So the addition is in the planning phase.

After we have the the Tractor Running and the Coop addition wrapped up I want to fence off the far end of the goat pasture and build a small lean too. Jasmine and Jessica will be ready to breed in the spring. I had initially intended to just use someone else's buck but do to the fact that I am not willing to send my does off to someone else's farm... it looks like we will be getting the girls a husband. It may or may not be a permanent arrangement though. It all hangs in the balance of the neighbors.

We are also wanting to plant more trees. We have three acres that is situated behind four houses. I have been fairly lucky to have really great neighbors (Minus the Bleep neighbor), but I really enjoy privacy. I would rather be watching the birds in the trees than watch the neighbor kids go swimming. Nuff said.

I am hoping to have everything finished by April. As soon as the ground is dried out enough were are putting a gravel road in that will go all the way down to the barn. It will be a miracle if we have all this completed before planting season but I will just have to keep my fingers crossed.

If by some crazy chance that we get all these lovely jobs completed in a fairly brisk manner, Lee is wanting to build a large workshop over the hill. I am all for it! I really want to just get these other projects wrapped up asap so we can start on his shop. O and of course its not like I have any personal investment in Lee's shop. I mean its not like the extra space in the barn is going to be converted into a studio or anything... I mean that would be ridiculous! *Wink* Wink*

So there you have it. Our most recent successes and our future plans. ;-)

My neighbor is a BLEEP

2010-11-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

Those of you who really know me, know that I am a very understanding open minded chill kind of person. I give EVERYBODY the benefit of the doubt and I am rarely bothered by what other people do. That's why I am struggling so much with this... I don't know how to put it nicely because well its just not nice. It bothers me not to be nice but.... well ok, Ill just say it.... I think my neighbor is a *BLEEP*.

Last year our neighbor hit hard times and had to sell some of their property. The people who bought the property got it at a steal. To give you an estimated idea of what they stole the property for... it was just three thousand dollars more than what I had in my savings account when I graduated from high school. Now it seems kind of petty to not like someone because they got a bargain. But you have to understand its not because they got a bargain. I don't like them because they profited off of my other neighbors misfortune. I have been in the situation before where people were circling around me all the while just to profit off of my misfortune. I tell you, that is a horrible feeling. So you see, this was the beginning of my disdain for our "new neighbor".

Now lets talk about the property in which the new neighbor ~~stole~~ bought. It was a really nice 1.45 acre lot with a large beautiful red barn situated in the center. The barn was old but very well cared for. There were many times that myself and my family would sit and watch the antics of the barn pigeons while they would fly in and out their beloved barn home. I cant explain it to you... It was like the big red barn wasn't just a building but it felt alive with a unique since of character and history. The barn pigeons made it just that much more special.

Sure enough the new "neighbors" "needed" to tear down the barn. To add a little salt to the wound, they sold the barn lumber for almost exactly what they paid for the property. Wow, I bet they were feeling really good about how lucky they were (at my old neighbors misfortune). I really wish my old neighbor would have thought about doing that himself. I would have understood if he would have done that.

Anyways, I would see the men over there working on ripping apart the beautiful barn and I would just have to shake my head. Yep I resented it. It annoyed me.

One evening I heard a large crash and I knew that what was left of the structure had finally fell down. It was such a sad site to see. Aye but I bet the new neighbor was just thrilled.

It was a hot summer morning. I was down at the garden. The crickets and Katydids were in mid song. The sun was beating down on my back as I was hunched over a row of beans. The scent of billowing smoke tickled my nose as I sat up. I could see the sky darkening as the thick large black billows of smoke covered the blue sky. I stopped what I was doing and walked back towards the house. I stood in the front yard and watched them burn the big red barns remains. It was a sad sight to see... but what was to follow was just plain heartbreaking...

The pigeons frantically circled the the barn. They would fly in out and around the large black clouds of smoke. They were panicking. I could hear them crying out. I knew that they must of had young in the barn This went on and on... finally I just had to walk away. It was painful to watch and there was nothing I could do. The next morning all that was left was charred remains of the old tin roof. The pigeons were still at it. They continued to fly around the pile of burnt ruble occasionally landing on the hot tin roof, and then flying back into the air.This went on for days and days while the fire smoldered. I could feel their suffering.

After all the rubble was removed, I would still see the pigeons flying around the site. It was as if they were lost or looking for something. I knew that they were lost and they were looking for something.

The weeks to follow the pair of pigeons searched out new homes but still occasionally returning to the burn site. They would fly down to the abandon property that adjoins ours, which has an old abandon barn similar to their old one. Occasionally they would come down to my barn and check it out. I had really hoped that they would decide to say but our barn just wasn't the same. I understood that. They eventually moved on.

Once the new neighbors had their property for very little investment and removed the barn and its inhabitants, they started constructing their own home. In the place of the beautiful majestic red barn the new "neighbors", built one of the ugliest houses that I have ever seen. It is a plain ugly rectangle house. There isn't one thing charming about it. Seriously. When anyone is talking about it, its known as "the ugly house". The conversation goes something like this... "O yeah, the road is two houses down from the ugly house"... and then whoever your talking to gets this look on their face like a light just came on and goes, "O okay I know where you are talking about". See, I'm not the only one who thinks its ugly! You would think with all that "blood money", they would have built something spectacular! Ya know, to make it all worth it.

Well the story doesn't end there... O no it doesn't! In less than a year they have successfully gain from my old neighbors misfortune, tore down a historical structure that added charm to the neighborhood, killed baby pigeons and built an ugly house in the big red barns place, AND NOW they have listed the property for sale!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant decide if I am glad to be rid of them or pissed that they came only long enough to take take take....

My Big Brother

2010-11-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

Growing up there was this kid that could be a real pain in the butt, literally. Every Sunday we race each other to Sunday school class in order to beat the other to the special chair in the front of the classroom. He would beat me every single Sunday.

I remember it just like it was yesterday. I ran to class, saw the unoccupied chair and thought "EUREKA, I'm going to win it today"! All my hopes and dreams about finally beating the kid were about to come true. I ran into the class as fast as I could, plopping down in that chair.

"AWwwwwW", I screamed as I felt several pinches on the bum. I jumped up in agony while two boys were rolling around on the floor in laughter. Thumb tacks! He put thumb tacks in my chair! AT CHURCH! Just in case he is reading... "JESUS SAW THAT, I HOPE YOU KNOW"!

This kid was the same kid that cut a long golden lock of my hair when I was about four years old. I got a spanking for it but I never did rat him out.

He was also the mischievous little shit that could talk me into doing just about anything. Like when we were vacationing at the Canaan Valley Ski resort. He along with two of my cousins convinced me to jump over the railing and run across the roof connecting the two lodges... one by one, they each crossed it but guess who got caught by the security guard???

He was an ornery one, that one was! If he were reading this right now he would also remind me to tell you guys of the time he knocked my out of my chair breaking my collar bone. I have to say that was one of his sweeter moments though. I remember my mom holding me as I cried. My brother sat beside me almost in tears too saying, "Sissy I'm so sorry I didn't mean it, it was an accident". He felt awful.

The same kid that put tacks in my chair, cut my hair and lead me astray was my very best friend growing up... My brother...

I remember the two of us jumping out of the neighbors hay loft into huge piles of loose hay. By my third or fourth jump. I cracked the back of my head on a pulley that was sticking out on the way down. His face was the first thing I saw hovering over me when I finally opened my eyes.

When we were in high school, my big brother played match maker with me and one of his best buddies. It didn't take long before my brother saw the kids true colors. He told me the boy was up to no good. I knew he was right and heeded his advice to ditch him. I know that it wasn't easy for him and it complicated his friendships for a while.

Yep, he was stinker of a kid but good big brother. When I was about 16, I went out one night with one of my girl friends. My big brother told my friend as we were leaving the house, "Be careful, you will have my little sister in that car, DRIVE SLOW". I thought about how upset he was going to be when we ended upside down on creek bank. My brother made it there before EMS arrived.

He was also the same kid that even though he was just two years older than me wouldn't allow me to watch rated R movies. Everyone I knew was talking about this graphic movie "Natural Born Killers". My tween curiosity really wanted to see it and it just so happened my big brother had it. I popped it in the VCR and pushed play about the time he walked in. "WO WO wo, you cant watch this sis, Maybe when you are older", he said as he pushed the eject button. Even though I really wanted to see it, I don't really recall arguing much about it. And like he promised a year or so later he let me watch it.... but I never made it to the end. I think I should have waited a little longer....

We moved around a lot as kids but he was always the steadfast friend. I knew that I always had one friend that would always be there that I could count on. We felt a responsibility towards one another. We looked out for one another. Although we were often partners in crime, my big bro never let me stray to far from good fun. And on the rare occasion that I did do something that crossed the line of kids being kids, it wasn't the disapproval of my parents, but the disappointment in my brothers eyes that would get to me every time.

I have the very best big brother! And for all the mean things that he did to me growing up, I've just about forgiven him...
O but wait you didn't really think that I would just forget about the thumb tacks did you!?

"I'm really glad you liked your birthday pie"

Hmmm, Am I licking the top of his birthday pie!?!?!?!?

Happy Birthday. I love ya bro!!!!!!!!!!

Woodland comforts

2010-11-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

I have been in a retreating mood lately. I cant put my finger on it but something has changed. I cant say its an internal struggle because inside there is very little fight. I just feel like my spirit is changing, growing, moving on to a different level. The only internal conflict with this is that I am unfamiliar to the growth. Growing is uncomfortable for me. It signifies change, which although is thrilling and exciting, its kind of scary too.

Usually when I feel uncomfortable I retreat into the woods. Even as a little girl when I was worried upset or uncomfortable with life in general I would wander off into the woods. For hours I would sit and stare off into the distance. I could have a billion thoughts running through my head and two minutes into mother natures embrace my head would be clear. The worries that would be screaming through my head would be drowned out by the sly sounds of a lizard moving underneath dry leaves. I could hear a tiny seed drop from a gum ball hanging in the gum tree, I could here the subtle chirps of a tiny bird or feel the eyes of a squirrel watching me in a tree.

Its the oddest feeling being disconnected from a world that has endless communication and then become in tune into something so subtle. I can feel mother nature luring me back in to her world. I am drawn gently near. Its a smooth magnetic force to her that whispers in my ear, "Come back to me child". I can feel it in my bones. And she is all I think about...

Things are changing... A new season is ahead.

My first bowl

2010-11-09T14:40:00.000-08:00

I'm stumped... Bone dry... Not a thing in the world for me to write about....

Aye but I did finish my first bowl!

I learned a lot from this experience. When I first started the bowl I really didnt anticipate it taking as long as it did for me to finish. Once I realized how long it was going to take to clean out the center, it sat untouched for days. Finally I realized it wasn't going to finish itself. I do realize that I made a fatal mistake in using the center of the wood (its most definitely going to crack) but probably the biggest lesson I learned here was patience.

Made from ~~scratch~~ scrap.

Before polish

After polish

Harvest Day and Fiber Fest

2010-11-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Everywhere I go I look for different ideas. I want to see something I have never seen. I want to hear things I have never heard. I want to learn something that I didn't know before. I want to be inspired!

I went to the Harvest Days and Fiber Festival at the historical Cannonsburgh Village in Murfreesboro Tennessee a few weeks ago. I have been impatiently awaiting the arrival of my developed film. I have just been busting at the seams to share the experience with you. Unfortunately the pics didn't do the fun any justice.

Most of the visit I eagerly watched on with my mouth open. What a talented bunch of people!

I watched the entire fiber making process....

Here is a sheep... It looks kind of scary though.

A sheep being sheered...

Maybe the other sheep was pissed because his human was going to steal his wool... maybe he didn't want to be naked in front of all those people? It does look kind of humiliating...

Close your eyes! Their Naked!

Anyways, the wool was washed, dyed and then carded... There were endless tables of colors. It was like walking through a rainbow!

Then there was a nice lady doing a spinning demo. Actually there were a ton of people doing spinning Demos. I watched all of them in awe... it really is amazing to watch.

I think I need some sheep! Don't you think I need some sheep!?!?!

Next, I walked over the Museum...

Sorry, I only got the one photo inside before my flash buggered up and the rest of the pics were all dark. This log was used for curing meats... That must have been a big tree.

The museum was full of old farm equipment, old doctors tools, and military gear etc.Outside of the museum I struck up a conversation with a really nice lady who was weaving. I became so involved with our talk (imagine that) that the kids ended up patiently sitting on the front porch of the museum and watched a pottery demonstration.... They had their mouths open in awe too... I wonder where they get that from? All the kids loved this guy. He had a very soothing Mr. Rogers tone to him...

I walked over to the old church and peeked my head in the door. I didn't want to walk in though... it was a real nice church... ya know I would have hated for lightening to strike... Look at the stain glass, beautiful!

Next thing I knew the littlest one had to use the restroom, but this place wasn't what he had in mind...

Its kind of cute though, don't ya think??? Naw, maybe its just the wreath...

Then we walked over to the old school where I got some ideas... Guess what I want to make now?

Then we walked over to the blacksmiths shop. It was nice and toasty in there. Its amazing to think that they do this in 100+ degree weather.

If you thought those four horned sheep were scary ladies, wait to you see what we found next! "DON'T GET TOO CLOSE SISSY"!

Just kidding! Hey if I had one of those I would have known my BlackBerry was in the wash way before it hit the spin cycle.

There was so much more that I didn't take pictures of, like the soap making booths... It was such a shame too because those were really interesting. I met a another really nice lady from Hidden Springs Farms. She had the most beautiful goats milk soap display. Then there were baskets full of dried fruits and veggies and there was the art gallery too... I guess I was just so busy taking in the atmosphere that I forgot to take more pics.

Before the end of our day we took a tour of the old grain mill...

It was the perfect end to a beautiful day with my family.

Jeepers Creepers.... Its Halloween!!!

2010-10-31T05:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a moment you were thankful that no one was around as a witness???

Last evening I waited too long to do the evening chores. Even though I carried my flashlight along with me, it only illuminated the narrow path ahead. The eerie sounds of wind blowing the fallen leaves along the ground made me proceed with the utmost caution.

I was greeted by the low whimpers of the goats. They didn't appreciate being left in the savage darkness as coyotes howled in the distance. They followed me into the dimly lit barn. I could hear the brittle tree limbs scrape across the metal walls outside... Jasmine jumped at the sound as did I. Yes, it was a creepy night indeed!

I fed the girls and Milo their evening meal. They chopped their grains and kibble with much delight. Being back at the threshold of safety, filling their tummies, everyone now seemed content.

I walked out of the barn. The wind greeted me with a shivering hello. I snub such a welcome and preceded over to the chicken coop to do an evening headcount. I flashed my light around the room. Everyone was tucked in, safe and sound on their perches.

As I backed out of the coop, I heard a sound in the woods line. It sounded like someone or... SOMETHING was taking slow gentle steps through the woods. "Crunch, Crunch, Crunch". Were the sounds of the leaves crunching from that of the heavy weight of the Boogie man? I walked briskly towards the house.

I could hear the sound getting faster. I became nervous. What was waiting for me in the dark, I wondered. My heart began to race a bit. My speed hastened.

Then all of a sudden, it gains on me! It grabs a hold of my right leg with its fierce claws and deadly fangs! In the midst of the scuffle, my flashlight flies into the air."Its got me!" Ha.elll.ppp!", I screamed internally.

I struggled to steady myself as the ferocious beast attempted to pull my leg out from under me. The flashlight which was resting on the ground shined a ray of light across the arching back of my terrifying predator, reveling what was his true identity!

"Damn it, Milo". I said causing him to startle, releasing my pants leg. "You scared the BEEJEEZES OUT OF ME! I thought you were the Boogie Man!". Now realizing my absurdity, I attempted to recover my dignity with "or a Rabid Raccoon or something"!

I scoffed back towards the house as he playfully rolled around in the fallen leaves.
Barn cats! Sheesh!

I'm just thankful no one was watching. :-) The trick was on me....

Happy Halloween! Keep the tricks but don't forget to leave some treats for me!

Tomatoes = Atonement

2010-10-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

Remember our volunteer tomato plants??? So far they have managed to survive the season. We have even been able to eat a few ripe ones straight from the vine!

The forecast predicted frost for parts of lower Kentucky, being so close to the border we decided to take precautions.

We picked the large ones....

Supposedly if I wrap them up in newspaper...

And don't stack them on top of each other they will ripen on there own instead of rot... We'll just have to see how this experiment works out.

As I was laying each one in the basket, I prayed that they wouldn't turn out like the maggot filled mess of mushy pumpkins that I had stored underneath the house last year. I had to use a scoop shovel and a barf bucket to get the mess cleaned up. (In case you didn't get that, the barf bucket was for me!)

Anyways, after the tomatoes were wrapped, I covered the existing plants with a tarp. I'm keeping these plants alive as long as possible in order to achieve Atonement for the pathetic garden this past season...

I hope to be eating fresh tomatoes in December!

Home was in the heart of my grandfather....

2010-10-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

It was a cold afternoon when I received the call. My mother who was on the other line said its time to go home.The quiet trip up the interstate back to West Virginia was the longest eight hours of my life. We went straight to the the nursing home. My mother and I sat by his bed. I held his hand, fighting back the swelling tears as I swallowed the growing knot in my throat. Crying was just going to make it worse... The end was drawing near. I knew that once his life here on earth stopped, mine would change forever.

My mother and I left, driving just a few miles down the road to the family home. We talked to my grandmother a bit and then settled in for a few hours of shut eye before returning to my Papaw.

I had just drifted to sleep when I was awaken from the ringing phone... I heard my Mom answer it but I didn't have to hear her words. At that moment home died. It was never going to be the same. I already knew the greatest man in my life had just passed away. There would forever be an empty place at the table. The den would remain quiet. His deck of playing cards would go on untouched. There would be no more of the once dreaded bone crushing hugs at the front door. The evening walks after dinner would be lonely. Yes, the sweet comforts of home was lost... I grabbed the keys and headed toward the door. My mom didn't ask where I was going. She already knew.

I solemnly walked through the sterile white halls to his room. I paused at his door. But there was just no hope. A moment to gather myself before entering wasn't going to fix the loss I felt. I huff at the thought now... whats a moment do when you just lost such a large piece of heart? What can a measly moment due?

I took a deep breath and proceeded to walked in. His face was empty... far more empty than the few hours prior. Inside, the child me was screaming in desperation "Wake up, just wake up, I'll find a way to fix you, if you would just wake up"! I crawled up next to him and laid my head on his still chest. "Please, just squeeze my hand, move your eyes, take a shallow breath, anything, JUST DON'T BE GONE FOREVER"! I had fought it long enough, I shook with tears as the nurse came in and sympathetically escorted me out into the hall. She offered to call someone but I shook my head and sadly walked back down the hallway passing the morgue tech on the way out.

My head pounded as the salty tears stained my puffy face. Finally when morning came I found comfort in the warmth of the sunroom. I curled into a ball with one of my grandmothers handmade quilts wrapped around me.... During my sleep, I saw my grandfather for the last time...

I dreamed that family littered the kitchen and living room, casseroles and deserts lined the table. Everyone was sad. As more guest made their way into the house, here came my grandfather behind them. He was wearing dark brown trousers a white short sleeve button up dress shirt and a brown hat with one single daisy slid in the band. He had the biggest brightest smile on his face! I ran to him and exclaimed "Papaw your suppose to be dead"!? He smile and hugged me tight with his signature bones crushing hugs... "I just did that to get the family back together one last time", he said with a brilliant sparkle in his eyes. Just when I thought I couldn't miss him that much more, I woke up. I have wished ever since, that I would have had more time with him... even if it was in just a dream.

My papaw was a parishioner at church. He would wear a single carnation penned to the lapel of his jacket each Sunday. During the church services I would find myself tired and full of boredom. The scent of the baking bread from the bakery down the road would seep in through the windows causing my tummy to growl. I would squirm and wiggle in my seat. I would periodically look toward the back of the church. If I saw my grandfather standing in the back I knew the service was almost over... Every single time I looked back to find him there, he would smile and shoot me a reassuring wink. I would always smile back. At the end of each service he would give me the flower from his lapel. In my eyes he was the greatest and he never lead me to believe anything different.

I remember as a child siting on his lap with my head on his chest. I would listen to his heart beat until my eyes fell tired for sleep. The night he died and I laid my head on his chest... there was not a soothing sound to be heard... nothing to put the heart ache to ease... no peace no comfort...

Fast forward two years later... I remember driving to my doctors appointment.There were only three weeks left until his first great grandchild would be born. He lingered in my head the entire trip. As we passed the Kroger's store... my eyes began to once again over flow with grief. Lee pulled over in a panic as I uncontrollably sobbed... "whats wrong" he said frantically. All I could whimper out was, "He would've been so happy". He didn't have to ask, he knew. Lee unbuckled his seat belt and hugged me while I became a slob of emotions. Finally I calmed down and we continued our trip to the doctors.

The thoughts of Papaw still come and go. Sometimes it is a smell, or a deck of cards spread out for a game of solitaire, a blue cloth napkin or a twinkling smile from an elderly man... Sometimes the memories are triggered by a gift of a carnation or the sound of the wheel turning from the game show Prices Right.... There are other times that his memory lingers in my head for no other possible reason than that his spirit is sitting right beside me. Sometimes I find comfort in his spiritual presence and other times just wish he could give me one of those damn bone crushing hugs.... I have never missed something so much in my life...

In my eyes he was the greatest and he never led me to believe otherwise...

Home was in the heart of my Grandfather....

2010-10-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

My mother and I left, driving just a few miles down the road to the family home. We talked to my grandmother a bit and then settled in for a few hours of shut eye before returning to my Papaw.

I took a deep breath and proceeded to walked in. His face was empty... far more empty than the few hours prior. Inside, the child me was screaming in desperation "Wake up, just wake up, I'll find a way to fix you, if you would just wake up"! I crawled up next to him and laid my head on his still chest. "Please, just squeeze my hand, move your eyes, take a shallow breath, anything, JUST DON'T BE GONE FOREVER"! I had fought it long enough, I shook with tears as the nurse came in and sympathetically escorted me out into the hall. She offered to call someone but I shook my head and sadly walked back down the hallway passing the morgue tech on the way out.

My head pounded as the salty tears stained my puffy face. Finally when morning came I found comfort in the warmth of the sunroom. I curled into a ball with one of my grandmothers handmade quilts wrapped around me. During my sleep, I saw my grandfather for the last time...

My papaw was a parishioner at church. He would wear a single carnation penned to the lapel of his jacket each Sunday. During the church services I would find myself tired and full of boredom. The scent of the baking bread from the bakery down the road would seep in through the windows causing my tummy to growl. I would squirm and wiggle in my seat periodically looking toward the back of the church. If I saw my grandfather standing back I knew the service was almost over... Every single time I looked back to find him there, he would smile and shoot me a reassuring wink. I would always smile back. At the end of each service he would give me the flower from his lapel. I felt like his princess.

After Sissy was born I would catch her looking off into the distance smiling and cooing as if she had an imaginary friend tickling her tummy and talking to her. I knew it was him. Other moments I would walk through the hall way of our apartment and I would catch the smell of his laundered shirts, the smell would always trigger the memories of sitting on his lap... I would smile wiping away a few random tears then carry on with my day.

The thoughts of Papaw still come and go. Sometimes it is a smell, or a deck of cards spread out for a game of solitaire, a blue cloth napkin or a twinkling smile from an elderly man... Sometimes the memories are triggered by a gift of a carnation or the sound of the wheel turning from the game show Prices Right. There are other times that his memory lingers in my head for no other possible reason than that his spirit must be sitting right beside me. Sometimes I find comfort in his spiritual presence and other times just wish he could give me one of those damn bone crushing hugs. I have never missed something so much in my life...

In my eyes, he was the greatest and he never led me to believe anything different...

Frightening Weather

2010-10-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 1am this morning. I knew the temperature had changed. The hot humid air lingered in the bedroom, like a choking smoke. I kicked off the covers and turned the fan on. Outside I could hear the wind picking up. I knew that I needed to make myself go back to bed but instead I laid awake listening to the sounds outside my bedroom window. My eyes felt heavy but I continued to lay there in tranquil thought.

My alarm went off at 4:45am. I turned if off and laid there a few more minutes. I really needed to at least get thirty minutes of rest. After I turned right and left, kicking the covers to the floor once again, I decided that there was little hope to fall back to sleep. There shall be little rest today.

The children and I walked out to the truck in order to head out to school. The pink rays of sun shown through the low dark clouds. The three of us stood out in the driveway staring at the peculiar colors in the sky. The trees would bend and bow while the wind would rustle the leaves to the ground. My pony tail whipped across my neck as the warm gust of wind danced across my face.
Sis, looked over at me concerned "Momma are we going to get a twister".
"No baby, I heard it storming last night, I think this is just the leftovers", I think she knew that I was lying. Its never this warm after the storm.
"But, why is the wind blowing like its just starting", she pressed on.
"I don't know", I said as I was reading farther into her concern.
She still hasn't forgot sitting for hours in a hot closet with two dogs and her newborn baby brother. She still reminds me about it on days like this. "Remember when we sat in the closet with my blanket and flashlight?", She would ask. "Do you remember afterwards sitting out on the front porch watching the fire", she would continue.

I never feared storms until that night. We stayed in the closet. It was humid just like my bedroom this morning. I remember looking down at Aubs as he laid asleep in my arms. His fine hair was wet from sweat and Sissy's cheeks were red. I kept my eyes on my cell phone. As soon as I had enough bars I would call my mom to find out what their weather service was saying. After I would get off the phone, if I had enough bars I would call me friend who lived in a trailer in the middle of a field. I remember the terror I felt when she said "O MY GOD, its here", and then the phone went dead.

My friend and her family ended up fairing the storm well, but there were many people who weren't so lucky. I cant recall the body count but there were many. I will never forget hearing about the mother and baby who were found out in a old corn field 3 miles from their house. The baby survived. It still gives me chills just thinking about it.

The fire that Sis reminds me of happened that same night. I'm not sure what caused it but a gas plant exploded in the next county over. We sat on the front porch watching with uncertainty as the flames shot above the tree tops. Was it the Apocalypse? I half heartily wondered.

As a thrill seeking child I always enjoyed tornado season. That sounds sick, right? But I loved the excitement. I was never scared. When the wind would blow it was like witnessing the environment race to keep up with its people. The things that usually are unmoving take motion. The trees would sway quickly, sometimes cracking and blowing away. It was a miraculous sight. The feeling of the warm air blow across my skin made me feel like I could just spread my wings a fly away. What child doesn't dream of flying?

I don't think Sis has those same feelings. Up until the last five years or so I never witnessed the wrath of an angry Mother Nature. Sissy understands it far better than what I did at that age.

I still love that warm wind that rakes across middle Tennessee (but despise it when its cold) but now the enjoyment wavers in angst.

I walked down to the field this morning to do the morning chores. On my way back to the house the wind hit me just right... I looked around at the sky the trees the animals and then closed my eyes. For a moment, I enjoyed a care free world. There was not a thought in my head. Just the wind crashing against me. And once more I thought I might just take flight.

I then thought of Sis.

I opened my eyes. I hope the weather doesnt turn....

My Girls....

2010-10-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of a child being abused and then the only thing you could think about was going home and holding your own babies until they managed to squirm and wiggle out of your arms? You shower them with hugs and kisses and thank god that he decided to leave your babies in your care and not with some maniac? Well I have... and not just with my two legged babes either.

I believe that all things have a right to live out their lives healthy and comfortably until their purpose here on earth has been served. Even when we raise animals for meat, that animal has lived the best dang life it possibly could until its final breaths. I believe that's the way it should be. Unfortunately some people do not feel like that about animals, especially with livestock....

Earlier this week I caught wind of animal abuse case. In this economy issues such of these are rapidly popping up all over the place. This is happening with people that you would never think could do something like that. Once I heard of this particular animals suffering, I just wanted to love on my favorite four legged girls!

Sis and I headed out for the rocks. The girls started calling out to us before we arrived at the front gate. We walked over to the stones in the pasture and sat down. Jasmine and Jessica proceeded to rub their bodies against us like two happy dogs getting a delicious treat.

I leaned my head against Jasmines warm full tummy. She turned to rub her nose against mine. I could feel her breath against my cheek...At that moment her happiness and well being put my troubled heart to ease.

I think I even saw Jessica smile for the first time... yep she was smiling. She's happy to be our goat too.

Jasmine attempted to climb onto my lap a couple times. Goodness, that brought back those early memories with her. When we bought her, she was wilder than a buck! I was in way over my head! I would have to catch her and hold her in my lap for a couple of hours a day while she would struggle to get free. I did this for a couple of weeks until she got use to me. We went through hell. She has come so far. I know that if she would have went somewhere else, there was a great possibility that she would have remained wild and therefor dispensable... We all know what happens to dispensable animals right? They are bought and sold and bought and sold. Eventually animals like that end up in bad places. I feel so lucky that these girls are here and apart of our lives.

Jessica is so much like a baby still... Monkey See Monkey Do. She wanted to give lap time a try too.

Its all fun and games until Jasmine mistakes my hair for hay!

Goats are like children that never grow up.

When you obtain a goat you are making a life long commitment to raise a permanent toddler....

But like most toddlers they provide hours of entertainment!

How could anyone ever be cruel to this???

Its cold out....

2010-10-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

Its cold out... I miss summer...

NAIA Pow Wow 2010

2010-10-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning I was awakened by a cool morning breeze blowing through the open window. The air tickled my senses alluring me into the great out doors. I knew from the moment my eyes opened that I wanted to go hiking. I wanted to embrace the cool Autumn air, surrounding myself with life's simple things...
I have really been craving a day at Fall Creek Falls but because making it back in the same day would have been too much for the children I opted to keep it local.

I searched out for new hiking grounds fearing that the children were bored with our regular excursions at Bledsoe. I found Long Hunter State Park. It was fairly close and as luck would have it they were also having the 2010 NAIA POW WOW. I read off the list of entertainment; Song and Dance, Indian food, exhibits, and demonstrations! Wow I was impressed. "Perfect", I thought. We made a few phone calls and then loaded up the entire family to headed out the park.

Before attending the Pow Wow, I thought this would be something great to write about! I thought that it would be a great experience for my family, (a way to connect with our heritage and such). I was just thrilled.

I have to say if you were hoping for a deep enriching post filled with spirit and history you are going to be as disappointed as I was at the Pow Wow on Saturday.

We arrived at the grounds fairly early but there was still a slew of people, Which made me extremely nervous. I was trying to do head count of children every few minutes, giving them enough lead way to enjoy themselves but trying to steer them clear of the vendor booths as well.

There were lines a mile long at each food booth. "Must be good stuff ", I thought. So I walked up to get a view of the menu; Hot dogs, hamburgers, and barbeque! REALLY!?!?!?! But hey the hot dogs were boiled by full blooded Native Americans! Its Indian food right!?!? I think not!

Moving on... I continued to search out for the demonstration areas. I thought that perhaps there would be a primitive skills area. I just finished reading Earth Knack and I was inspired by the pottery, basket weaving, hide tanning etc. Surly there would be primitive demonstrations!? Nope, didn't see anything at all. Although I did see a booth set up with a woman selling clay figurines... I was tempted to flip them over and see if "made in china" was stamped on the back but I didn't.

Finally the Dancers gathered in the middle of the field to start the program. By the time we reached the stands, there was such a thick gathering that the only way to get any decent shots of the dancers was to crawl underneath the announcers trailer and take pics while laying on the ground, (thanks for the pics dad).

Needless to say the POW WOW was a big disappointment. Being the types of people who will squeeze life's lemons into lemon aid. We ditched the over crowded, over priced, over rated POW WOW and headed off towards the woods.

Long Hunter had some of the prettiest natural landscapes that I had seen in a park. We started walking down a long wooded path surrounded by changing Poplar Oak and Maple trees. It was a beautiful site. We walked on the trails along the bluff of Percy Priest lake. Finally winding down to a small cove where the children looked for shells and magic rocks. It was a fun little walk and a nice change in scenery.

Unfortunately the park hasn't completely recovered from the flooding this past spring. There were piles of debris and trash that has washed up on the parks high banks that have yet to be cleaned up. I also noticed that the park was scarce of wildlife although I did see a squirrel... one squirrel. As I walked on I remarked how pretty some of these views would be in a different light, perhaps in morning. My father sternly reminded me that Long Hunter is a dangerous place to be alone at, and then the memory hits me. A lady from our town was found murdered and buried here. After that recognition I got the hebejeebes and wanted to get the heck out of there.

I cant say the day was an entire bust. I originally wanted to go to Fall Creek Falls this weekend but we didnt because I mistakenly thought there was going to be a scheduling conflict. Some other family wasn't so lucky. They were on the trails at the falls and a boulder fell, hitting a child in the head. The child is now in critical condition, please keep them in your thoughts. I also now know that I don't ever want to go back Long Hunter State Park. I was able to spend the day with my entire family, picked up some great footage, was inspired by some of crafts, And I learned that Long Hunter State Park isnt going to be in my list of favorites. ;)

Tide you over with some Banana Bread?

2010-10-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

I think I drained my creativity yesterday by trying to hand craft a wooden bowl.... I know my arm muscles sure are hurting this morning and I am just soooo sleepy! Maybe its just writers block??? O well, I'm going to work on a post about the NAIA Pow Wow that I attended this weekend but until then... I hope some Banana Bread will tide you over.

Banana-Raisin Whole Wheat Bread

2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
   2 cups mashed bananas
1 1/4 cups packed brown sugar
   1 cup Raisins (optional)
   2/3 cup vanilla yogurt
   2 eggs
  1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

1. Move oven rack to lowest position. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottoms of two loaf pans.
2. Mix ingredients together... pour into pan. Bake 1hr (8x4 pan) or 1hr and 15min (9inch pan)

Savoring the moment

2010-10-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

This morning I grabbed a piping hot cup of coffee and headed down to the barn to do the morning chores. The heavy dark morning clouds hung down low as a cool breeze swept the barn yard. The leaves rustled and billowed along the brown fall grass. I glanced towards the back property line littered with large Poplar, Gum, and Maple trees. I thought to myself how beautiful this morning is and how badly I just wanted to sit and savor the moment.

The leaves are changing and it is my most favorite time of year. Its a shame that the changing of the leaves doesn't happen the entire season. It seems like there is just a couple of weeks of the oranges, yellows and reds, and then its gone until next year. Yes... this is the time of year to savor the beauty. Savoring the moment lingered in my mind.

While in my reflective trans this morning, I was thinking about how wonderful this weekend has been. Really, it has been great! In fact so great that I get a little misty eyed thinking about it. Hmmm O where shall I start???? I don't know where to start....

Sat. Lee and I laid new floor down in the chicken coop. Sis carefully peeled away the paper as she helped her daddy lay down the new adhesive tiles. I'm not sure how it happened but some how we all managed to get into a playful wrestling match in the middle of the chicken coop floor. I think perhaps you had to be there to understand that one. Moving on...

While laying the tiles down, my brother dropped in for a quick visit before he was off the be a brides maid in a wedding.... perhaps you had to be here to understand that one as well... Moving on. (I told you I didn't know where to start)

Since the wedding was held only a few miles from our home and instead of my bro having to trek an hour home late in the evening he decided to camp out at the house for the night. While he was at the wedding my father returned from visiting his dear friend and fellow wood worker in N.C. He brought back many treasures for the wood shop. His friend who I will now and forever refer to as Uncle Joe sent me a few Diamond Willow branches to work on for walking sticks. He also gave us a greatly appreciated belt sander. (Thanks a ton!) My father keeping in mind my new primitive wood working passion, picked up a spoon knife and hook knife for the shop. He also found some native Cane growing along the roads of North Carolina. Being always prepared, he jumped out with his ax, and brought home a couple shoots. I cant wait to start crafting!

We all enjoyed digging through the thoughtful treasures that my Dad picked up on his trip. The children greatly appreciated all the interesting rocks and fossils. The children stood around the long shop table with a large magnify glass pressed closely to their eyes as they studied each stone carefully. I don't know how to explain it too you but their enthusiasm made my heart sore with pride. Pride, that my children enjoy things like that. Pride that my father knows that it doesn't take a gift from a gift shop. Pride that we could all sit down together as a big happy family and look at rocks and wood with such wonder and amazement. Yep, doesn't take much to keep us happy. And that my friends is precisely why I was so thrilled.

We visited with my parents for a long time, discussing our bonds and memories with Uncle Joe. We talked about ideas and dreams we had for wood craft... and even whittled a bit.

My brother arrived back at the house just in time for the after after party. We all sat out in the shop just catching up on our lives, listening to a little Mumford & Sons, some of Pop's favorite bluegrass music, and my newly discovered missing Nora Jones CD. We had a friendly but somewhat competitive game of darts going, and somewhere along the lines a hoedown broke out... but I think that had more to do with the liquid refreshments than the music... Anyways I cant quite explain it but that moment of cheer with my family felt almost magical.. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. It was this sense of companionship, camaraderie, overwhelming joy in unison that spilled over. For no rhyme or reason at all that night we celebrated. What we were celebrating wasn't anything other than our deep bond and love for one another. Life is good!

The next morning we were all feeling a little sluggish to say the least. The youngsters going to bed early the night before and rising at the break of dawn didn't make the day any easier. Although it did help because Sissy had to be at school by 7am. Lee jumped up and carted the little one off to school while I sluggishly worked on the morning chores.

Lee came home all smiles. He shook his head as he told me of the tale that unfolded in the car with Sissy. Due to post fall break nerves Lee stopped off at the local gas station to pick Sis up a little incentive to get her back in the mood for school after a long fall break. Yeah he bribed her. Don't act like you haven't done it before! :)

Anyways, so he gets back in the truck, and Sissy curiously asks "Let me ask you a question"? She smiles at the impending answer.

"Why do I have an egg in my pocket". She grins ear to ear as she recovers the egg from her jacket.

Lee laughs "I don't know why", he enthusiastically announces. (long pause) "Why DO you have an egg in your pocket"?

I don't know!?!?! She says.

I vaguely remember sometime last week Sissy was helping me collect eggs and I guess she put it in her pocket and forgot about it. I couldn't help but to laugh at all the possibilities. Homesteading Tip... Always check your kids pockets for eggs.

After I finished up the chores, Lee and I headed out for the day. We did a little Christmas shopping and drove around the country side for a while. Our ultimate goal was just to enjoy each others company. Monday was our eight year wedding anniversary.... Surprise! We still enjoy each others company.

Lee and I are pretty young at heart. Some of the childish past times still gives us great amusement. For example... we were driving down the road and Lee gives me a gentle punch in the shoulder... Green he shouts as green Volkswagen passes us. Surprised by the playfulness I rubbed my shoulder for sympathy. So here comes a line of cars in the distance... I internally grin!

*PUNCH* "Red", *PUNCH*, "Green", *PUNCH* Gray, *PUNCH*, "White". In complete shock, "What the hell, It has to be a Volkswagen!", he exclaims. "Oh" I smiled. (mahahaha)

Somewhere a long the lines "Slug bug" turned into "Slug sign" Next thing I knew we were swapping licks over real estate signs. And that my friends is how you celebrate eight years of marriage! ;-)

Just the thought of our day together makes me smile. We had a blast. I am happy to married to someone who doesn't take life too seriously. Lee is the type of guy who can laugh at himself as well as to make others laugh at themselves. Its easy to be around him... guaranteed never a dull moment. ;)

Lee and I finally returned home just in time to pick up Sissy from school. Sissy jumped in the truck still amazed by the fact that her Daddy had an extra day off. We were excited to present her with a new pair of shoes... I handed her a shoe box. "I bought you some new shoes today," I said. She was absolutely thrilled to have a random gift waiting on her . She joyfully opens the box to find her new pair of shoes. The excitement drains from her face. I have to give her credit. She did her absolute best to hold a smile. "Do you like them" I asked. I could see she didn't want to lie but she also didn't want to tell the truth. "Sissy, if you don't like them we can take them back". "Its not that I don't like them"... she slid them on. "I don't think they fit". I could tell she was relieved that they were too big. Hey we have all been there. And frankly the thought is great and never goes unappreciated... but sometimes the thought just doesn't make us like em' any better. "No worries", I reassured her.

After we arrived home. I started not too feel well. I became nauseated, my face tingled and all my energy depleted. After dinner I was hoping to feel well enough to take Sis back to the store so she could return the shoes and find a pair that fits. Unfortunately as we were about to leave I felt even worse.

I looked around for my glucose monitor but couldn't remember where I put it. Standing was making me feel much worse. I finally laid down on the bed while Lee continued the search. Finally I remembered I put it in the dresser. The longer I laid there I could tell that my sugar levels were rising as I started to feel a little better. I decided to check just in case. 88 wasn't a bad number but its not an ideal number. I decided to drink a soda and head out anyways.

I was really dreading the trip. I didn't feel the greatest and I don't like to be in the truck very long but I felt like I needed to go while exchanging the shoes was fresh on my mind. I tend to put stuff like that off. Sis and I drove towards Nashville. On the way there I checked my sugar again just to be safe. It was up to 120 and frankly I couldn't believe how much better I felt. Its been a long time since I had I felt that bad. I was nervous a splitting head ache would soon arrive like it has in the past after a sugar "incident" but I was pleasantly surprised. I'm happy that didn't destroy our evening.

We drove on. The evening sky crept down on the city. Sparkling lights illuminated the streets. I popped in the Nora Jones CD that my father had previously borrowed (for a really long time). I asked Sissy if she remembered the song playing. "I use to sing this to you, Do you remember?" She shook her head no. I lightly started singing the lyrics as she reached over and grabbed my hand. She didn't talk. She just held my hand and looked out of the window beside her.

We finally reached the store and returned the shoes. Sissy couldn't find a pair that "fit" so we tried another store. We enjoyed our time together; talking, laughing and singing. Its been a long time since we have just had time alone together with just the two of us.

At the other store we hit jack pot. Sissy found a lovely pair of Twinkle Toes that we both agree were absolutely adorable. On our way home I looked over at Sissy. Her eyes were heavy. It was getting passed her bed time. She caught my glance and said "Momma this has been the best girls night of my entire life". I smiled and reached for her hand... Savoring the moment.

The Non-Garden

2010-10-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

I have had several people ask me what I planted in this years fall garden. With my head hung low, I shamefully reply, " Well, I planted Spinach x's 3 in the Non-Garden". With puzzled looks, I explain that this is our 3rd planting of the season. I have planted twice in the far right side raised bed and once in the empty herb bed... and because the large garden was such a bust we decided to just plant one thing this fall... which was the freakin' non-growing spinach... *Sigh* So frustrating.

On a positive note, (seeing how I am just an optimistic positive ray of sunshine on this lovely morning)... *grumbling* Dang, spinach! When we moved soil from the compost to the far back raised bed, I had a few volunteers sprout up, picking up the pace for the lacking spinach....

Tomatoes by late Oct!!!! Don't worry about frost. I have my plastic ready and waiting to go .Just.In.Case!

So, the next time someone is proudly rattling off the contents of their fall garden... Turnips, spinach, cabbage, carrots, peas.... I'm going say, "Well I HAVE TOMATOES "! ;-p

Thank you Brandywine Roma crosses... I love you. Your shining fruit helps me get through the fall gardening season with just a little pinch of dignity...

Tree Identification Class.

2010-10-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

This morning the children and I headed to the state park for a follow up on our tree identification class.

The objective in todays trip was to more or less have a scavenger hunt with the leaves that we had already collected and identified. Sissy was able to use her binder as a reference. It only took her a few minutes and then she no longer needed a reference in order to identify the leaves that we had studied... Mission complete!

Although there were many leaves to keep us busy... We also found other interesting sights in the woods...

When a doe has got to go, a doe has got to go!

We found wondrous trees that twisted and turned...

And deer that napped in the security of high weeds...

Then there was a turtle skeleton that we found not far off the well beaten trail.

Even though I had my eyes peeled for snakes... stumbling upon this little guy still came as a surprise....

I was shaking in my boots, hence the blurry shots. ;) I'm not a fan of snakes.

After our day of excitement... I was ready to get back home to a nice warm cup of coffee... and snuggle in for a nap....

But unfortunately every time I close my eyes I would see this.....

Just a Day

2010-10-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

Today we had Leaf Identification Class... I was sort of disappointed in my own lack of knowledge. Identifying a few of these tree became quite tricky. I'm glad I toted along the Audubon Field Guide to North American Trees (Eastern Region).

The children frolicked through the woods searching for any leaf they could find in order to stump their ole' mum. O, they had a blast!

After our treasure hunt, Sissy designed her leaf book, while Aubs counted the stash of acorns from his pockets.

Sissy I were able to identify eight different species of trees in our yard.

Although I feel like the children had fun researching the trees and writing their titles down in the book I think its important for them to understand the potential roles that each species of trees play in their lives. I have noticed that when I teach the youngsters about the outdoors, they understand and appreciate them more when they are able to see how the natural world benefits them. Sissy and I talked about the sugar maples. We dreamed of the day when they will become large enough to tap. We discussed all the uses of the trees from making paper to plywood, for sweeteners to their medicine properties. I confess I learned as much as the children did today!

Off to the Amish.

2010-09-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

Last evening while feeding the goats I made a pleasant discovery. I finally hit the bottom of the feed barrel! Now this seems like something odd to be excited over but the last drop of goat feed signifies a day trip to Amish country. Its not terribly far and the vast country side allows plenty of room for my mind to wander. I love the trips to the Amish country.

This morning I loaded up my two favorite boys in the truck. I had my right hand man by my side and my trusted side kick buckled safely in the back.

We headed toward the feed mill.

The winding road lead us through valleys of grazing cows and hillsides painted with beautiful trees. We passed a farm with hogs wallowing in the mud and horses running the fields... Yep, this is my kind of place.

The thick lines and narrow ruts in the asphalt from the passing buggies announce that I have hit Amish country. I passed several signs and the end of long drive ways; Produce, Candle Makers, Wood Workers, Jam houses, Saw Mill, Feed Mill. I couldn't help but to imagine such places in my world where people just dropping in wasn't an oddity.

I traveled on, passing large plain white houses, large gardens with bird house gourds strung across the length, I passed empty carriages parked in wooded lots and horses tied to post. There were chickens pecking the ground at every home... Yep, this is definitely a place that I can relate.

We passed a cluster of young Amish girls wearing dresses of teal and dark blue. Headed to school with their lunch pails in hand. Up the way a bit, a young boy was walking through the fields, with his father leading a team of horses behind him. There was a a woman hanging laundry on the line as I turned into the Mills long drive.

This is my third year of doing business with the Amish. We buy our laundry soap and kitchen equipment at the Amish store, our lumber from the water operated Saw Mill, and our feed from the Amish Feed Mill. Slowly but surely the walls that once separated us is slowly falling down.

The Amish do business with the English but tend to be very reserved in their presence. I understand their reservations as a lot of English do not respect or understand the Amish. When you walk into one mans territory its ALWAYS important to tread lightly.

Today I pulled into the empty Feed Mill lot. Mr. Mazlo was nowhere in site. I took the opportunity to pull my hair back into a bun before stepping out of the truck. I knew that he would be present in just a moment.

Then I saw him walking up the long gravel drive from his house headed in my direction. As I waited patiently I took the opportunity to embrace the senses that surrounded me... The heavy stench of manure laid heavy in the air, the birds and cows in the distance crying out to one another, the dogs barking, and the sun shinning.

A young man with dark black hair, a thick black beard and olive colored skin, greeted me with a warm smile. "I'm glad I caught you", I said as I smiled back. I always try to be as warm and friendly as I can. ( When you are accepted by the Amish... the knowledge you gain about their world is insurmountable.)

"Hiya, What can I get cha for", a strong German accent rang out.

"I'm needing 200lbs of livestock feed... its for my dairy goats", I cheerfully said.

"Alrighty", he said.

I walked to the back of the truck and popped the hatch. I held out my arm and reminded Sam to stay. Mr. Mazlo loaded my feed, and told me my bill. As I was writing my check, Mr Mazlo made small talk. I was slightly shocked but welcomed the conversation (I like to talk!).

" Let mi ask ya sumthin'", he said. "Whys there a sudden interest in Daireey goots", he asked.

I replied " I think its because of people like myself lacking the land for a dairy cow"

"Aya, makes sense, goats dont need much of nuthin' ",

"I think Im going to get some dairy goot feed mixed, Theres a loot of people who order feed fa goots" he stated.

I told him that my goats did so well on the livestock feed that I probably would just stick with it... "why mess with what works", I said.

He nodded in agreement.

I told him "Thank You", as I made my way back to the truck.

I had been less than a quarter of the mile down the road when a woman driving a van came flying around the curve almost hitting us. "SLOW DOWN", I screamed

I was annoyed. Besides almost hitting us, she could have hit the Amish kids walking to school or collided with a horse and buggy at the bottom of the hill. I thought "no wonder the Amish are so stand offish with the English"!

So here I made a list of Considerations while traveling into Amish territory.... just in case you are a newbie or perhaps you just haven't figured out why you get the weird stares.

1. SLOW DOWN. Slow down about 10 miles outside of the community... Buggies are coming and going all day long and it would be catastrophe to be flying around the curve and hit one. My motto is if the speed limit says 30 I drop it down to 20.... and like I said I drop it down when I'm with in 10 miles of the community.

2. Turn down/ off the radio. A loud blazing radio is rude no matter who you are visiting.

3. NO PICTURES. I love scenery of the Amish country. Its a place that I would love nothing more than to share with each and every one of you. The beauty and simplicity reminds me of stories from a simpler past... But ultimately the Amish don't like to have their pictures taken. They don't like to have pictures of their property or pics of their livestock taken either. I respect that and so no matter how trigger happy my finger gets... I put the camera is put in my console and it doesn't come back out until I exit the community.
And... don't take cheap shots of their back sides either. I would be pretty annoyed if someone took my picture with out me knowing. Its an invasion of privacy.

4. DON'T HONK!- The Amish community around us sells a lot of goods. They don't have phones so its to be expected for people to just drop in. BUT don't sit in your car and honk for someone to come outside or show up. That is so rude. Proper etiquette says to go to the front door and knock... then politely state your name and purpose.

5. Patiently wait- The Amish don't just sit around all day and tend the mill or produce stand. They are out feeding animals, hauling water, shoeing horses, etc. So when you arrive on ones property and no one is present, wait a moment. Usually someone will peak their heads out of the barn or show walking up the drive. Don't jump in your car to wait. Stand their patiently.

6. Dress conservatively- There are certain places a dress code is found appropriate. When I visit the Amish I wear long pants, long sleeve shirt, and I pull my hair back. Its respectful. I don't walk into church nor into my daughters school in shorts and a tank top. Those places have a dress code (spoken or unspoken), as do the Amish. The Amish are very conservative. While visiting the Amish community its important to follow the "laws of the land". Now I am not saying that you have to put on a teal green dress and a bonnet, but at the same time you don't have to stand for something of total disapproval.... and let me tell ya, the more conservative you dress, the more at ease everyone will feel.

So there ya have it... hope you enjoyed. :)

Mind Travel

2010-09-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

The trees rattle with the fresh coat of fall color.
I wait here, watching for the next one to tumble to the ground.
The breeze blows a gush of the crisp Autumn air.
The next to fall, from a sycamore.
O how I love the sycamore...
In a woods of hundreds,
how the white and brown flailing bark will stand out against the many...
Leaves just as large and as proud.
I hate to see them float to the ground,
sorrow within such grace.

I pull the layer wrapped around me tighter as I listen to the birds converse.
They are flying away further down south.
Flying away... as the leaves are floating down...down... down...
Here I lay idle and in-between, wondering "where the season will send me"?

The nostalgia in the air tickles my senses,
flexing a desire tinged with despair.
I pine for the characters that plagued my mind with foolishness last year...
My Mary, her plump red cheeks as they crest just below her warm smiling eyes,
The lonely whispers of Dog the timber wolf,
His large paws stomping the dusty path around his 8x8 cell,
Bear's gentle spark of sarcasm finessed with his light hearted laughter.
Even Gabriel's gruff nature I mourn.
I loved them before I even knew their names.

Would a return be the same?

Such as the Sycamore leaf,
I will float right back into place,
back into the arms of their ever so loving embrace.

Yes... that's where I shall go...
back to them, the characters that loved me so.

At night when the hoot owl calls out to me,
"Its safe, Its safe",
I will listen and go.
I will sit still with Dog in the dark.
He will be proud while I hunker low.
We will stare at the moon and wonder,
"Where shall we go".

Perhaps Mary will fix tea in the morn.
Bear will drop in for a visit,
O how the three of us will laugh and laugh!
Gabriel's presents will disrupt the room like a chilling breeze
but I will smile on.
Bewildered will he be!

Never had they known I was gone...
Myself the writer, the time traveler, the mystery...
Trapped with in the world of reality,
Just waiting for the leaf to fall,
A season to set me free...

Update: Spa Day at the Homestead

2010-09-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Deep thoughts.....

You know what I hate about having long hair? FLY TAPE... don't ask.

Jesus washed the feet of his disciples... but how did I get stuck washing the feet of chickens????

*************************************************************
Here's some photos of our second day of treatment.

I learned something pretty interesting just from observation. Sometimes the Roos Comb gets kind of purplish. I always wondered what was up with that. Well today before I caught Jeeves his Comb was a beautiful bright red, but once I caught him, part of his comb turned a faint purple... kind of like that one time when I skipped school. When my dad found out that little blood vessel in the center of his forehead turned dark purple. Yep, it was just like that.

Sissy and I had a great routine going. She would catch as I would wash and dip.

And when I was working a little slow, Sissy jumped in there and picked up the slack. I'm proud of her... REALLY proud! She is a very big help around here.

Jeeves did well with his treatment. I think his legs are looking better but that may just be optimism clouding my vision.

All the chickens enjoyed spa day. Everyone had a foot wash and a oil massage... that is everyone but me... O how I wish I had a spa day...

Scaly- Leg Mites

2010-09-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

***GRAFIC PICTURES*** DONT READ WHILE EATING***

Anytime one of our animals gets sick I carry this sense of guilt. Did I not take care of them properly? Did I cause this? How long has this been going on and I just didn't notice?

The truth is no matter how well we clean our facility, what brand of food we feed them, how often we medicate, and how much love we give them... there will be times when our animals will get sick.

Hyjeevey is our French Black Copper Marans Rooster.We've had him ever since he was just wee lad. I was so surprised that he grew into such a handsome rooster. As time went by I noticed that Jeeve's legs where quite a bit larger and scalier than our Barred Rocks. Being new to Marans I just assumed it was the breed.

This past winter he was injured when I caught his foot in the door by accident. I felt horrible but it seemed to heal quickly with little problems... Well with in the last month I noticed that Jeeves was walking light footed. I kept an eye on him thinking perhaps it was from his old injury. Then I noticed that the pin feathers from his shanks were missing coupled with the scales on his toes were raising, making him look like his feet were crippled. Yesterday afternoon his legs and feet were extremely irritated. I caught him and made a startling discovery.... Scaly Leg Mites. Even worse... I concluded that this had to have been going on for a while.

I treated the pens and chickens with a light coat of Sevin Dust. I then left the coop, to return to the house to begin my research (via Backyardchickens.com, Merck Veterinary Manual, The chicken Health Handbook, and Storeys Guide). Yes, indeed Jeeves has Scaly Leg Mites. From what I have read it's tough to get ride of. I decided that since Jeeves and Purdy are important to our Marans breeding program that I would try to save him. FYI, if it was any other chicken I would have opted to cull.

Today I woke up bright and early. I cleaned out the coop and the run. I put down new bedding, and redusted.

I caught Jeeves for his spa treatment.

I soaked his feet in warm soapy water. I washed his feet well.

Then I dried them and applied a heavy coat of bag balm. I massaged the balm in, making sure it worked its way under the scales.

There were some places where the pin feathers on the shanks were bleeding, I pack those places with Triple Antibiotic ointment. I then removed any excess oil to from his feet.

I still have to construct Jeeves a separate place away form the rest of the flock. (I really wasn't prepared for this). Scaly leg mites will slowly spread to the rest of the flock if not treated. Yesterday everyone received a check up and fortunately Jeeves is the only one showing signs of it. Its also important to remember Jeeves has oily legs which isn't good for the feathers. Its wise that he not mount the hens thus getting oil on their feathers. (Oil makes it hard for the birds to control body temperature.) Separation is important.

The game plan is to wash Jeeves legs every day, this will clean out the build up under the scales. I will then apply bag balm on the legs in order to smother out the mites and soften the scales. The entire flock will be treated monthly with a one part Kerosene and two part linseed oil mixture as a preventative measure.We started a worming today as well... does anyone know what the withdrawal period for Ivermectin? Lets hope he shows signs of progress with in the next month... thats his DEAD line...

Any extra advice is appreciated... I hope that this post could help someone else in this situation.

The Horrible Dirty Rotten No Good Weekend....

2010-09-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

Dinner and movie? How bout fishing and a funeral?

Lee and I planned almost a month ago to go out this past weekend with out the children. Now as many of you know an evening with out the children provides us with an array of options. O WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUT THE KIDS!?!?!

Originally Lee and I had planned dinner and a movie but then we thought that since we are so rarely without kids, that it would be best to use our time wisely. We decided to get a head start on Christmas shopping. BUT then Lee showed me up last weekend and caught a 7lb catfish and well.... we all know that really burned my ass. ;) So we then nixed the Dinner and a movie for a short run to Walmart(s), <- that was for Karen. ;) and then it was off to the lake.

BUT THEN....

Friday afternoon Lee arrive home from being out of town all week with some bad news. His Uncle (by marriage) had passed away from an aneurism. The viewing was Saturday and the services were held on Sunday.

Now being one of those people who has children who owns one set of dress cloths (dedicated to our annual visit to church), unfortunately the children had grown out of their church cloths from last ... Christmas??? or was it Easter?? hmmm?Aye that doesn't matter... The children needed new dress cloths. So Lee and I decided Sat morning we would take the kids shopping and then that evening we would just go fishing.

Sat. morning I woke from a disturbing dream. I dreamed that someone had been riffling through my purse and had made a statement about how messy it was. I think that this dream was a manifestation over my guilt from throwing a candy wrapper back it Friday night when the trash can was just a few feet away from me.... I knew it was wrong and lazy!!!!! The thought of someone insinuating that I was a slob made the guilt even worse. The only way to shake the guilt was to clean the darn thing. Being that I didn't have a lot of time on my hands, I reached my hand in there and scooped as much trash out with one hand that I could get... sorry but that was just going to have to do. I didn't have time, to clean and organize.

After I finished ~~cleaning~~ with my purse, Lee and I ran down to the barn to do chores and then head outside my beloved ten mile radius that I normally travel to the big city of Goodlettesville (about 35 minutes away). Now I should let it be known that I do not like Goodlettesville. Despite the fact that it's also outside the ten mile radius that I normal like to travel, there are a lot of... ~~assholes~~ unfriendly people in Goodlettesville. I always come home grumpy. Which always reminds me that I am far to impressionable to live in a big city.

Anyways, so Lee was in charge of finding Aubs appropriate attire and I took Sissy with me. Mothers with young daughters, here is a question for ya, what up with the hoochie cloths for little girls? I found 3 dresses out of like 400. Only 3 would I have consider putting my daughter in. What are we trying to do raise a generation of hookers????? Next question.... Why is it so hard to find flat dress shoes for little girls? I don't know whats going on here. Maybe if I shopped more I would be immune to the vile cloths and shoes that they have to offer for kids. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe if I would have started wearing high heals at age 4 I would have known how to walk in them by now?

Finally I found a nice dress for Sissy and Lee picked up a really cute shirt and tie for our son. We stopped off at the cookie store to refuel. The cookie store is one of my most favorite places in the world. I am always happy to be there. Just being there is like a snack for the spirit. We ended up getting the kiddos cookies with happy faces piped on them in icing... I mean who wouldn't love that? Even though I didn't buy a cookie for myself, it was a much needed break from the normal atmosphere of Goodlettesville.

Once we left the Mall we headed to a shoe store. Actually, it wasn't just a shoe store but a store that also sold shoes. Lee stayed in the car dosing up the kids with sugar, while I ran into the shoes store real quick. The store was packed! I ran over to the shoe section and grabbed a two pairs of shoes. I sat down and tried the first pair on. "Excellent, they fit", I thought. I grabbed the shoes and ran to the check out. I was pretty pleased with my quick choice and even faster exit from the store.

Lee and I left the city and headed towards his parents house. His mom was going to hem a pair of Aubs dress pants. We stayed there for about two hours and then headed home.

Mom was going to watch the kids so Lee and I could have our evening together. Once home, we decided to get a pizza for the kids in order to make Memaws job easier. So after placing my order and waiting about 35min I had to go pick up the pizza. O crap, where's the keys??? So I started running around looking for my keys... "wheresmykeys, wheresmykeys, wheresmykeys", I chanted internally as I searched. "O yes my keys are in my purse!"..... "Wheresmypurse, wheresmypurse, WHERE IS MY PURSE!?!?!?

I ran around everywhere searching for my purse. Dare I even say the feeling was slightly comparable to when Sissy once wandered off and was missing!?!?!? I felt even sicker once I realized I had left it at the store! I called and confirmed it. Yes someone turned it in. I must have laid it down when I tried on the shoes.

My mom went to get the pizza and my dad watched the kids while Lee and I traveled back to Hades to get my beloved purse. On the way there I thought about my dream. OMAGAW! Somebody has went through my purse! My dream was an OMEN!!!!!! All these thoughts ran through my mind.... I hope they didn't open it.... If they did I hope they didn't think it was a mess.... I hope that everything is there.... what if they cleaned it out before they turned it in.... For heavens sakes alive, I know Lee can drive faster than this.... my life is in there... stupid,stupid,stupid.... I need to call the banks, and the credit card company, and ... o no, my camera was in there!

It was a long way back to the store!

Once I had my purse safely back in my arms where it belonged, I was SO happy. All the contents were there... even the trash. By the way... thanks to the good honest person that turned it in, I cant tell you how grateful I am.

Lee and I already had our fishing gear in the truck. So we headed directly towards the lake. After a busy day with WAY to much going on, I thought that a relaxing evening was in order. But once we finally had our lines in the water, and peace and quiet surrounded us... I had the hardest time sitting still. The fish weren't biting at all, and frankly I was bored to pieces. I was really hoping to catch my whopping catfish but Sat just wasn't my day. Finally we packed up and headed home without so much as a nibble.

Sunday was about as great as any Sunday with a funeral on the agenda could be. We did get to see a lot of family from out of town, which is always nice.

I would love to say that my Monday is going better than the weekend but after Lee left out this morning for Kentucky with my truck keys in his pocket.... Its just not showing a lot of potential.

Projects Projects Projects

2010-09-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

My blogging is kind of getting sparse these days, and I apologize. But have no fear, I have a ton of great excuses!!! I have been keeping fairly busy. 4:30 am I wake up, hit the treadmill for a bit, and typically do a household chore or two. Then I have to get Sissy up and ready for school, go to school, come back and do farm chores. Once thats finished I throw myself into a project. That is unless I have to drive outside of the dreaded 10 mile radius to run errands.(Yuck) Luckily I have the kids on a pretty good bed time schedule so after they are sound asleep at night I still have time for my Dulcimer "tutorials". How did I ever find the time to work a real job (ya know, the kind that actually pays ya cash)!?!?

Just trying to cram a lot into the day. See, busy busy busy. Just thinking about it is making me sleepy. (yawn) I need a nap...zzzzzzzzzzz zzzz zzzz
zzzz zzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz.

Huh, what!?!? (Yawn and stretch), O sorry I must have dozed off for moment!

So you see I have several different projects... all of which I have had every intentions on blogging about but by the time I wind down in the evenings my creative energy has been depleted.

Ok enough excuses... here is my most recent project...

Inspired by the amazing works of Jon Mac...

Here is the blank I started with...

I used a scrap piece of Basswood

I started whittling before I remembered to take a pic. ;)

Phase 2

Phase 3

Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration Jon... One day I'll give Kuksa a try. I encourage anyone who is interested in woodcraft to check out Jon's Blog. http://spooncarvingfirststeps.blogspot.com/
He is one talented fellow!

O and it doesnt end there...Sneak peak... next project

Marans Babe with the Nanny

2010-09-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

Some youngins' are just reluctant to leave the nest.

Fish Tales

2010-09-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

Something that I have heard in unison this past week is that there's just not enough time. Things change and some of our interest has to be put on hold in order to work our jobs, take care of our children or animals. I second this. But I refuse to give in!

This weekend Lee and I did something that we haven't done in years (together). We loaded up the truck and took the kids fishing.

When we arrived at the lake, Lee and I took a minute to remind the children to be respectful of the other fishermen; Steer clear of other fishermen, don't run, keep your voices low, and pick up all of your trash.

After we unleashed the rascals, I took a minute to absorb the atmosphere. There was a cool breeze blowing... stirring enough of a chill in the air that jackets were often necessary (for my son and I). The fishy lake water tickled my senses and made me nostalgic for years past. I smiled at the memories.

The sounds of "Mommy, mommy" dropped me out of my whimsical trance.

Lee and I spent the majority of our time re baiting hooks for the little ones. And just for the record, the Bluegill in this lake are now very well fed!

When Lee and I finally were able to drop our lines in the water, his remained still for almost an hour... My line on the other, well my bait was cleaned off shortly after I would cast it in the water. Several little hits but nothing of any consequence.

Later Uncle Joe arrived. He came with a smorgasbord of bait, chicken livers, tomato worms, night crawlers and...and some other unknown stinky substance.

Aubs caught a small Bluegill but due to the excitement of his first fish... I forgot to take a picture. Go figure. Anyways, Aubs took his little bluegill over to Uncle Joe who showed him that he could use his small Bluegill as bait as well. Uncle Joe sliced a piece of fish for his own line as well as for Aubs.

Thanks to Aubs little bluegill, Uncle Joe caught a 4.5 lb catfish. Shortly after that, Sissy began to keep us in fresh supply of Bluegill fish head bait.

I looked over at Lee to notice he had this quiet thoughtful expression across his face. "I haven't even got a bite yet", he mutters. I sympathetically smiled and returned my focus to my own line.

Then out of nowhere this giant catfish swims over to my line! He examines it and then swims the top of the water. I catch his intense stare just has he gives me a reassuring wink. Just then I was reminded of the disappointment in Lee's voice. My majestic water beast was just about to bite my line when I jumped up and shooed him over to Lee...

So here is my Lee's 7.13lb catfish. ;)

Due to the fact that EVERYONE caught something but me, there has been a change of venue for our date night this weekend. I am trading in my high heels and fancy restaurant dinner (that's sure to be a disappointment anyways) for a hook and sinker. We are grabbing a case of beer and hitting the lake... just me and my Boo. ;)

The Mountain Dulcimer

2010-09-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I liked to tinker in the wood shop with my father. So as I began to learn many of the wood craft lessons from my dad, it just so happened that he also became a student around that same time. His friend and local guitar maker took my father under his wing and showed him how to craft a Mountain Dulcimer.

My dad was ecstatic about his new adventure, not just into furthering his wood craft abilities but he also took the lesson as a form to reconnect with our Appalachian ancestry. I listened to him many evenings talk about the history and the personal meaning for him behind the mountain dulcimer. Our conversations made me nostalgic for this foreign Appalachian world that I have only connected to through birth right. He also intertwined the things he learned while constructing the dulcimer to the lessons he was teaching me in the wood shop at the house. I really enjoyed learning from the student. ;)

There were many evenings that my father spent away working in his friends wood shop. He used a piece of his favorite type of wood, chestnut and put his (our) signature design, (the deer tracks) across the face. He also embellished his mountain instrument with his hand crafted antler cross. The end result was a beautiful hand crafted meaningful instrument. After he brought the dulcimer home I couldn't wait to give it a try. I refrained as everyone had their chance at the strings. I was scared... Sucking at something especially in front of people is never fun.

My father has repeatedly told me how much he wishes that he had learned to play an instrument but failed to learn because he never had anyone to teach him. I sympathize. I have always enjoyed a wide variety of music but particularly listening to the acoustic guitar and banjo. I always wanted to learn but like him, I just never had anyone to teach me. Now both of my children are taking an interest in music therefor I feel like now is do or die time.

Lee has taken up the acoustic guitar. He says he isn't very good but if he IS truly bad, I cant tell. Even when he first started I found peace in his calm soothing melodies. I love listening to him play. Nothing puts me to sleep faster than hearing him strum Dust in the Wind. And when I say puts me to sleep I don't mean like on a Sunday morning sitting on a hard church pew while a long winded minister preaches about tithing. I mean every muscle in my body relaxes and every thought in my head is carried away by the sweet sound of each cord.I sleep in total bliss. I LOVE IT.

Lee knows how much I love to listen to him. He has encouraged me to learn and has offered several times to teach me what little he knows BUT again I refrained. I think its because I had a boyfriend in high school that attempted to teach me once.... we broke up. I like to think it was because he was such a horrible teacher. I hoped it wasnt me but I am pretty sure that the blood dripping from his ears was an indication of whose fault it really was. Ever since then I have been a little intimidated by learning how to play anything that has strings. (By the way I was just kidding about blood dripping from his ears... it was so his fault- hehe)

Today I embarked on a new journey. I wandered into the depths of the unknown as I broke out the dulcimer. I have discovered amazing things just from my single youtube lesson. The first and perhaps maybe the most important... I AM absolutely horrible!!!!!!

Lee assured me this evening that the dulcimer is terribly out of tune and I should take it to his pal in town to get it tuned... I have to say what a wonderful guy my man is... Its not me its the dulcimer! HA

I am also going to talk to his buddy about getting a few real lessons. Not that youtube is a bad place to learn. Lee has learned a lot from his sessions, but I on the other hand am a different kind of learner. I need someone of authority standing over me stroking my ego or in this department, lack there of.

So yes once again, after a not so good lesson, I decided to take a break and blog (We all remember a few weeks ago when mom was attempting to teach me to quilt, right!?)... which brings me to my thought for the day "Those who cant, Blog"...

I'll keep you posted IF there is any progress. ;)

Tombstone

2010-09-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

This is one of my most favorite places. Every time I drive by this place, I always say "next time I am stopping".... And so today I finally did. The old chimney is the only thing left. Standing straight and proud as if it were a monument or a tombstone to lives (the laughter, happiness, tears, and sorrow) that filled the once present house.

I love the poetry in places such as these....

Night Dreams

2010-09-06T01:51:00.000-07:00

Its about 2am in middle Tennessee right now. I cant sleep. I have heard that when you cant sleep the worst thing you can do is lay awake in bed. I don't remember why they (who ever they are) say that but according to the last two hours, I have to agree.

I couldn't bare the restlessness a moment more. I grabbed my favorite quilt, a pillow and my laptop and headed outside to the pavilion.

Twinkling stars have lite up the morning sky by the trillions. Its beautiful.... The crickets and other evening "noise makers", are serenading me a lullaby. The cool damp air is cloaking the quilt that I have wrapped carelessly around me. I'm cold but there is something comforting about this cool dark morning. In the dark, I can see the dreams where as the sunlight can blind. I can dream in this kind of dark.

While laying in the bed, I started thinking about the conversation Lee and I had on the way home from having dinner with his parents. We talked about how obvious it was that we were not meant for the live styles we were living almost five years ago. Lee was a contractor. As soon as he finished the first house he built we were already concerned that we weren't living the life we were destined for. Lee worked a lot. He was under an amazing amount of stress. There were many evenings that I sat out on the front porch of our old house and thought about the horrible price that were paying for our big house and the stuff we filled it with.

I began to question the path of our life, our family business even further as I began to dabble with local wildlife rehab center. I found that our lifestyle disagreed with almost everything I believe in...every ideal I had about god and nature was being littered with commercialism and consumerism. Lee and I began to drift apart as the 7 days a week work hours and the stressful amount of paper work it took to run our business divided us.

One day we had no other choice. It was as if all a long god was telling us that he had a purpose for us, and that we were not designed for that life that we had chose for ourselves. If we didn't change it, he was.... And so he did.

Years later, I have more people come and talk to me about "how did you make it", "how do you hold your family together", through that kind of.... change It wasn't easy and any kind of "loss" and "failure", SUCKS... but ultimately, when one of us wanted to throw in the towel the other was cheering the other one on. That's family. And through, the tears, sorrow, angry bitter words, ultimately we were a family... In its most heartfelt gut wrenching rawness, we. remained. family.

One thing I have learned, "time heals ALL wounds".. and if something is still raw and gushing even after "time" has had its time to work, it cause you haven't quit picking at it.

My walk down memory lane with Lee last night must be why I woke this morning anxious (in good way) about the future. I'm excited about the new things to come. In two years our property will be ours... without a mortgage... ~ solely ours~. We have done a lot out on the property and have continued to pour our blood sweat and tears not just into the physical parts of our homestead but even more so into its spirit.

This year we are hoping to put a real driveway back to the barn. Also Lee and I have been toying with the idea of getting electric in the barn. Its definitely needed. The electric company said that if we hook up the barn before we have the house built then we will get two separate bills each month. So after much discussion we are going to go off grid for the barn. What a better test run for going solar?

I know that to some this sounds minor. But this is pretty big to us, not just financially but it is a great mile stone in our lives, in the construction of our homestead, or our rebirth. Before we know it, we will be building our house, (another mile stone)

I look back, almost three years ago we were starting with a blank canvas... But slowly, meticulously, and with the guidance of our "values", we are painting our new world... into the most beautiful place. I look forward to the things to come... whether they are lovely at first or still in its heartfelt rawness. The things to come are destined for greatness.

With my teeth chattering, moths flying into my computer screen, hound dogs barking, and a cow off in the distance that I swear must be giving birth... I think it must be time to go back to bed. The children's' little feet will be pattering against the floor in just a few short hours and sleep is now calling. Its time for rest.

Sweet dreams.

The hitchhiker

2010-09-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

"I have to live in a world that I can believe in. That's my nature. I need faith like one needs air, like fish need water."

Due to the comments and emails I have received from concerned readers, I figured I would post a sequel to my previous post.

Apparently hitchhikers are a very controversial subject. Both my parents read my blog on a regular basis. (Hi mom and dad). Its quite interesting to hear their very different perspectives. After hearing of yesterdays post my dad gently reminds me this morning that the guy that murdered my grandmother Hitch hiked from Davis to Canaan Valley after the murder. "Safety is a real concern and frankly picking up people who are just hitchhiking or who are supposedly stranded is dangerous". My mother and I both agree with that statement. But.... this is where my mother reminds my father that it is a sad state of affairs when you cant help someone who looks like they are in obvious need of help. Do we let fear over come the act of doing what is right? Momma always got my back. Of course my Dad sees the wisdom in his lovely wife's words and agrees. BUT then he suggests to just call one of the guys (himself the hub or the bro) and they will take care of it. Good plan and trust me Dad when I say, "I put that up in tha noggin in the ol' filin' cabinet." ;)

Anyways, so I enjoyed the insight from everyone, especially my parents, here are my thoughts....

There are two types of hitchhikers. People that fly by the seat of their pants at the cost of hard working citizens and then there are the people with a car bellowing out loads of smoke and crying out to the gods "O why Me". I would never pick up someone with a sign that says headed "south" but a person who is in obvious distress, I would most definitely consider it.

I find pity on the people who have found themselves stranded in a precarious position. Perhaps its from a childhood memory still embedded in the soles of my feet, when my mom accidentally locked the keys in the car at the park. We had to walk several miles to my grandmothers house. I was wearing a pair of those darn Jelly shoes that put blisters on your feet. Awe, yes , how pleasant was the days before cell phones. (I do realize that although I do have some hard earned sympathy here that I may also be a sucker too). ;)

I cant help but to think if I were in need of assistance? I would hope that I wouldn't have to wait for 80 cars to pass me by before a kind hearted citizen decided to stop. I would hope that though the risk are high for both parties, that by good judgement and a little divine intervention would protect us both. I do believe that good judgment and caution is always necessary.

I just cant help to find it sad to think that it takes a leap of faith in order to pay it forward. But in today's world where there is corruption greed jealousy and other evils behind every corner, what is one to do? Should we quit taking people at face value? The value of a man reminds me of the day my husband and I made an order with Mr. Weaver at a local Amish saw mill. He took people for their word and had faith. I cant tell you what is right for you but for me, I learned a valuable lesson through Mr. Weaver simple act of trust... Believe in people.

The news media plays a huge part in callousing the heart. The media teaches us that everyone is out to get us. I remember going to a church service once. The sermon was about "giving". Not necessarily about tithing but about helping out those in need. The minister said something along the lines of, people being jaded by scams thus encouraging them not to give. He said that anytime you give out of the kindness of your heart you are giving to god, not necessarily just to the person/receiver. What the person does with the gift is on their conscience not yours. I am not really a church goer type person but that sermon has always stuck with me.
I believe that story can also relate to this matter.

I don't stop for every person I see on the side of the road but when the circumstances look obvious, I have been known to stop... and just for the record I have never put anyone (that I didn't know) in my vehicle while my children present.

After the feedback from all the readers and a nasty email, I will stick with my old policy... no stopping for men and no one gets in the car with the youngsters, and I promise to use safety and good judgement with in any and all situations. Thanks for the feed back. Opinions and other perspective are ALWAYS appreciated and considered as long as they are presented in a respectful manor.

Opossum, Old Men, and the Witches Costume

2010-09-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke to the sound of my son yelling out, "Mom...ma, Mom....ma, I want some milk". I rolled over to grab my cell phone off the night stand and realized I was closer to the edge of the bed than I originally thought. I would say that falling out of the bed isn't the best way to start off the day but I seemed to be in fairly good spirits so I just rolled with it... Literally. I fell and rolled. Once I was finally standing, I grabbed my cell, squinting my eyes to get a clear glance of the time. Five am comes way too early.

After getting the boy his sippy cup of milk and my daughter ready for school, we headed down to the barn so I could let the goats out. On the way to the barn I was quickly reminded that I had set the live trap in the garden yesterday. I noticed the door was tripped. We were hoping to catch a raccoon but as I got closer I noticed that we had caught a small opossum... I hope my husband doesn't read this but... aye, what the heck, I'm a sucker. I let it go... again. But at least I didn't release it in the barn, again. ;)

I have to say that with the mood I have been in lately if nothing else, watching that little opossum scamper off through the field... Well it did my heart a lot of good. But I couldn't help but to pondered the hypocrisy. I can kill a chick that I raised myself but to cant bare the thought of a wild opossum being harmed? That's nuts. My only defense in the matter, perhaps the opossum and I are kindred spirits, link from a past life? Or perhaps I just have a major set of double standards.. I shrugged off those thoughts as I only entertained them for a moment. Ultimately I really didn't care. I wanted to let it go and so I did.

After feeding Milo and letting the goats out, we headed down the quiet country road to drop Sissy off at school. After Sis shuts the door, my son, (We will just call him Aubs from now on because the fake nick names are too hard to remember) Aubs, said "Whats next". "Well Aubs, we are going to go to the store and look for Momma a pair of running shoes". He said "Ok, but I don't want to look at girl shoes, you can... Ill just close my eyes". "Ok Aubs, sounds good to me", I smiled.

Now would be a good time to point out that I have recently been trying to quit smoking... I know, everyone gasp all at once. Yes I was a feakin' smoker. Point, and start the crucifying but hurry up with it cause I got a story to tell here... Anyways so in my attempt to quit smoking I have noticed that... well, I am getting a little thick. So I decided to eat better and increase exercise time. Hence why I was going to get the running shoes.

On the way to Hendersonville (to get the shoes), we passed an elderly man pushing his bicycle. My heart started to tug a bit. I really wanted to stop and give him a ride but I have a strict policy about giving strangers rides. For safety reasons, I only pick up women. I have a better chance of kicking a woman's ass if she tries anything weird. I never give men rides. Of course if my husband is with me that's a different story. Lee is a big guy and if some guy tries anything weird with him... Well, I have very little to worry about. But the qualm I was in today, this was an old man! I debated a bit if I should go back and get him.

My dilemma, reminded me of when I was 16. I was driving home from work one afternoon. I decided to take a short cut through a rough neighborhood. A man in his late 40's was broke down on the side of the road. I drove past him until the guilt got the best of me. I turned around. Turns out all he needed was a jump, so I popped the hood. He was very appreciative and told me how many people had just passed him up. Just as I was feeling pretty good about pulling over he put his hand on my shoulder and asked me, a 16 year old kid out to dinner, "ya know to thank me". FREAKED ME OUT! I politely said no thank you and told him that it would be best if I waited in my car. All ended well but that was the day I made the strict policy, "No helping stranded men, that will just have to be a mans job".

I decided not to pick up the old man. As I made my final decision and finished up a prayer that my son didn't see him, Aubs spoke up, "that man's bicycle is broken". He holds up his Handy Manny tools so that I can see them in my rear view mirror. "I should fix it with my tools", he said with a cheerful smile. Even more guilt ate away at me but I didn't turn around. Looking back, I should have turned around. I ditched the policy today.

Anyways, so we finally arrive at the store. I grabbed the first cheap pair of running shoes I could find. But, while at the store I had a much more important purchase to make. I wanted to look for a dress. I have this really hot date in a few weeks and I really wanted to find something sexy to wear for my man. I found a dress. Aubs slowly walked in the dressing room behind me, he was less than thrilled to still be in the store.

I slid the dress on over my head. I looked down to notice Aubs staring at me with a puzzled look on his face. My sweet prince innocently asks, "Momma where'd you get that witches costume"?

"Thanks Aubs". "For what", he questioned. "You just saved mommy some money". ;)

On our way home my bf called. I relayed the witches costume conversation, I had with Aubs. She said "what does he know, he's three years old". I replied "He's old enough not to know to lie". We laughed and then I lost the call.

I glanced down at my cell to realize the battery was dead. I was relieved. I was in the mood to take the long way home. I usually don't travel that road because I cant get cell service on it. Well, not having any service anyways, I enjoyed the ride. I rolled down the windows, cranked up the Mumford & Sons, and took in the view of the calm country side....

No more kisses for you, Missy!

2010-08-31T13:40:00.000-07:00

Goat kisses are way better than doggy kisses, not nearly as messy.... unless the goat seeking your affections SNEEZES in your face!!!! GROSS!

Your lucky I love you Jazzy Poo.

Croutons

2010-08-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

I'm lacking material due to my mood lately. This blog was originally created to focus on the progress of the homestead. Which was suppose to be a celebration of a birth, a new chapter in our lives. I feel as of late it has been more or less a documentary of spiraling discontentment. And so forms the obstacles of Come By Chance. After any birth there is sure to be growing pains right? So until I am back to the normal me... Here's an idea for ya.

Make bread. If you don't have a recipe. Look here.

Bake it.

Once cooled cut it into pieces... if your like me, it may pain you to have to cut into your masterpiece.

Toss in Olive oil, lightly covering and then sprinkle on Garlic Salt.

Bake in the oven on 275 for 10 min or until golden brown.

The top on your salad. That is if they last while you are cutting your veggies.

Yum... I'm hungry now.

The Herdsman

2010-08-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

The little boy who looks after the goats...

Ugh... Annoying Day.

2010-08-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Which tends to be pretty typical for the mornings after I pay bills. I had a list of things I needed to do. Most of which were things I would prefer not to be doing today. Example, I was told by a respected dairy goat breeder that I must treat for Coccidia on a regular basis. Frankly, I'm not big on unnecessary medications and I had Jaz tested right after I bought her in March. This breeder was insistent that this is what I should do. I began to question my animal husbandry and decided that maybe I ought to make a compromise and at least have the girls tested again. I took a fecal sample from both the girls.

This was my first time... retrieving a fecal GA.ROSS! I truly believe that no one should ever have to start off their day with their hand inside the hind quarters of anything! PERIOD!

The morning proceeds, I had to get my sleepy daughter and my son in the truck to take Sis to school. That part was pretty uneventful besides the fact that my son must have paid bills last night too! Talking about waking up on the wrong side of the bed! We dropped Sissy off at the school and then drove outside the ten mile radius to the vets. Another sure fire way to get my day off rough. I hate being in the car longer than 10 minutes. It annoys me.

Anyways so at the vets I discretely whisper to the clerk that I have fecals. The clerk is obviously intrigued as she raises her eyebrow and cleverly replies, "o really". I discretely hand them over to her. Yeah, southerners are weird about fecals. We like to keep that stuff on the D.L. So I nod my head and am like "how much". She's like "42". My head cocks left and right, then snaps back forward "HOW MUCH". "42", she says. Ok, I suddenly turn from the fecal pusher to huffer on the street corner jonesing for a free fecal. Prices have went up! My next thought, "Ill give you this gold watch." Seriously, I was shocked! When Jasmine had a fecal done by the vet back in March it was only $8. None of that matters now though. I grumpily paid it and sulked back to my truck with my all so very grumpy kid (my son but I'm sure the goats are grumpy too now).

Next on the "Don't want to do list", I had to go to Walmart. I hate Walmart. Its a smorgasbord of germs. Not to mention I usually get stuck walking behind someone that hasn't bathed since the early 60's. I continue to shop there because the price is right and I don't have to drive any where else to get the items on my list. So frankly I torture myself all in the names of cheap and convenience. I know what you are thinking... "I bet this lady would give way her own mother just to save a buck". No.Comment.

I pulled into the parking lot, taking in a as many deep breaths as I could before I had to hold my breath while sprinting through the store. I picked up a few essentials. But then I exhaled. I had already blew it! Since I was there and hate traveling outside the ten mile radius (Did I say that already?), I decided I would kill two birds with one stone. I pulled out the Christmas list. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. But I like to be prepared. You never know when you might find something and then you can knock someone off the list, thus eventually not having to make a special trip outside the ten mile radius to do Christmas shopping. That's me, Mrs. ~~Tightwad~~ Thrifty. So I put my life on the line as I dodge the blazing fires of Common cold, Swine Flu, Meningitis, E Coli, and Salmonella all in the name of Christmas.

I continued my lovely morning shopping at the Ole' Walmarts. If you live in the south Walmart is always pronounced with an S on the end of it. Walmarts, yeah so there you have it northerners, ya learned ya something new about the south today.

Ok back on track. Anyways I found a little light weight sweat jacket and some winter slippers for my daughter. I decided I would go a head and knock those items off the old xmas list. I went to check out and the cashier exclaims, "Already buying winter stuff"!? I just wanted to yell at her, " YES, Don't you know poor people have to plan a head for Christmas"! Its always bothersome to me when cashiers comment on my purchases. Well, anytime they draw attention to my purchase I become... anxious. I mean think of all the embarrassing things on the counter that they could comment about. Heck, I'm even too embarrassed to list them!

See, I was scarred as young girl while making my first training bra purchase. I will never forget that dreaded day. I still wince thinking back to it. I was standing at the check out with my mother and my older brother. Luck would have it that there was a long line of people behind us as well. The cashier holds up my training bra and screams """PRICE CHECK"! I dropped my head and weighed the odds, "Maybe they would think it was for my brother". I had my doubts, as my brother was grinning ear to ear and ribbing me with his elbow. I can still see his sparkly whites smiling back at me as my inner self was curling into a ball. ***WINCE*** My brother still gives me hell about it.

Ok, so maybe I shouldn't be so self conscious about the cashier commenting my stuff but I was traumatized as a child you see. She brought visions back of my training bra price check trauma for cryin' out loud.

After I left Walmart I felt better that I was able to knock off a few things from the x-mas shopping list, awe but yes sick at heart again as I was reminded that I just paid bills. Bills suck but at least they are ALL paid.

I was relieved to return home. I came into the house and did a quick review of the budget to make sure everything was still on track. (We are trying to pay our property off early. So far, we have two years left to go). Luckily the sweat jacket and slippers didn't damage our ultimate goal. It sounds funny but those impulsive purchases can really cause one to stumble. I am a sucker for spur of the moment spending so I constantly have to babysit myself. Its kind of like that 1991 sitcom Hermans Head. The people living in my head are trying to over throw the impulsive me. The impulsive me is a fighter though.

Anyways my crappy day finally comes to a close. As I crawl back into my bed I take note as to which side of the bed that I intend to roll out of tomorrow. I think as long as there is no impending fecals all should be good.

Night.

**** I wrote this post a few days ago and forgot to post it... Now I have an update for those who care :) ***

Jasmine and Jessica's... Labs came back wonderful. The vet called me personally and asked why I had decided to test them. She was concerned that there might have been an issue with one of the girls. I told her they seemed fine but I was encouraged to have them them on a regular Coccidia treatment plan. My vet then assured me that both of the girls test came back great. Jasmine is at a level one for Coccidia. Which is a great number as all goats carry the parasite in their bodies. She also told me that Jessica had such a low amount that it didn't reach the the qualifications to even put it on a scale. The vet also confirmed what many of the Caprine health books said.... Continual Coccidia out breaks are caused by poor sanitation. She did inform me that during times of stress when the immune system is struggling that one could also have a Coccidia out break. Its important to treat prior to times that an animal may be under stress (kidding, disbudding, tattooing, weaning and relocation). So there you have it straight from the vets mouth AND minus $42 later; sanitation and stress. This place is fairly clean and... well these girls are FAR from stressed! :)

O and I almost forgot.... We now have head colds. Thanks to the smorgasbord of germs.

Learning to Teach.

2010-08-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes being a parent is the hardest job in the world. The only true parental preparation is the on the job training. There are nights that I go to bed with tear filled eyes and pray that the almighty will help me get this parenting thing figure out.

As I become a more seasoned parent, I'm learning that I will never have it completely right. (Although I do aspire not to mess them up too bad.) I really think that there should be a Storey's Guide to Raising Children. No, that wont work as I have found that Storey doesn't have a universal animal rearing down to fool proof either, although very helpful. Perhaps thats why babies don't come with a manual.

Anyways... I have learned that what works with one child will most definitely not work with the other. Trying to find each child's learning niche has remained a constant endeavor. My son who is quite different than my daughter who thoroughly loves to push her personal limits. My son enjoys his comfort zone. Both of these opposite personalities have their pluses. My son is easy going, very calm and plays well by himself. My daughter on the other hand is extremely active (at all times) and enjoys interaction with others.

Sissy is three years older than my son. We had more time to learn what works for her. Not to mention the three years of undivided attention that she received before she had a little brother. So figuring out my sons interest, his strengths and weaknesses and his passions has been slightly less obvious to us.

BUT I finally found a way to teach him his colors!!!!!

To the Brave...

2010-08-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

Only a brave soul would attempt this at home ALONE....

My mom is attempting to teach me how to make a quilt... That's called quilting, right!? Anyways so the first part of my lesson was to cut out these tiny hexagon shape thingies. I have to say damn my kindergarten teacher for not teaching me how to use a pair of scissors! And my mamma's cursing you too! She will probably even use the big swear words once she finds out that I shaved the size of her templates down about a 1/4 of an inch on each side... Sorry Momma.

So then after I pissed and moaned about not knowing how to use the scissors, my momma, god love her, decided to teach me something else that might be a tad easier than using a set of scissors. *** Rolls Eyes*** Yeah you guessed it! She handed me a needle and thread. About 30 puncture wounds and a couple of Band aids later, we moved on to the next lesson. I had to line up the hexagons for them to fit together. Now I hate to be the one to point out the obvious but I did cut out some of the shapes, They ain't gunna to fit together MOMMA!

Anyways, my mom showed me the various steps to quilting and then she had to leave to take me dad to the doctors.... I begged her to take the stuff with her. "Really momma, you could work on this stuff out in the waiting room. Let them clean up the scrap material and frayed threads that fall on the floor, I wouldn't be alone with the quilt and we wouldn't have a mess to clean up later... WIN WIN, you see". She gave me a loving squeeze on the shoulder and ~~abandon~~ left me.

I do realize that this has been a great learning experience for me. I have an entire new appreciation for my mother. She is a saint, really! To have a daughter like myself.... well lets just say she has earned her sainthood. I envy quilters. (That's what people who quilt are called, right!?!?!?). Making a quilt from beginning to end is a LOT of work and the women that pieced these beautiful things together for their families for decades should receive a gold medal and maybe even a purple heart too! My final learning experience is, well obviously, my kindergarten teacher really should have done a better job with me. ;)

So in the end, I worked on the sewing the hexagon shapes around a piece of paper for a few short minutes and then.... well, I decided I would just blog about it instead. *Snickers*

Signs of Hope

2010-08-13T10:30:00.000-07:00

I woke to the alarm blaring out the loud sounds of static. I wearily rolled over to view the time. My world still out of focus as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, "For heavens sakes, its the first week of school and Sissy's going to be late!" I jumped up and made a mad dash in order to get the youngsters ready and out the door.

I really must give myself more credit. We ended up at the school before the doors were unlocked. Instead of sitting on the asphalt play ground for another thirty minutes, I decided to kill some time with a calm drive through the country side. There is nothing quite like watching the morning sun creep over the countryside. Tranquility radiates from the tree tops while the light sprinkles splendor over the dew cloaked grass. The glimmering lights, revealing to my little world, with the most pleasurable of sights.

As the children remained still, the subtle beauty in the morning set the mood for a quiet time of reflection. Perhaps, they were in their own state of meditation or maybe they had just fell back to sleep. Either way, euphoria blew through the open windows. We were all in a state of peace on this most lovely morning.

But as I drove on, I saw signs around every corner, lurking in unfamiliar forms of both good and evil. Awe, how this brewed a bubbling dose of thought. So I reflect....

"I would be lying if I said that the state of the world doesn't lay heavy on my mind. I fret over our once so blessed nation as well as the circumstance evolving all around of our beloved world. I would be lying if I said I didn't stay awake at nights while the days tragedies unfold in my head. From the scenes of litter tossed along the road sides, to women and children being sold into slavery, the violence that's plagues our streets, wars a million miles away, poverty that is creeping into the once middle class America, to the greed that has struck wall street, and lets not forget the natural disasters, tragedies of every kind. I do lie awake at nights with worry as my companion."

But those thoughts shifted away as the Belted Galloway's in the midst of the green rolling pasture called out for my attention. I listened as the birds sang a melody that only a simple heart could discern. Peace was again restored as my truck crept to a small quiet intersection (both in the real and symbolic). Four roads, all leading somewhere. Standing to my right, a modest store adorn with simple signs of innate beauty, radiating a hope for man kind.

"I think we might be alright. Yes, perhaps everything is going to be alright after all...."

Faith in mankind is all the insurance this homesteader needs and his faithful light illuminates a path for the rest to follow... A pioneer to good will.

Infidelity????

2010-08-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

I would like to take a moment to congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Hijeevey Marans for their first hatch!!!!

It was touch in go for a while. The nanny had to leave the nest in order to chase the first pip around. So I had to take the rest of the clutch to the incubator. I would have offered the clutch to Mrs. Purdy Marans but she couldn't be bothered with such silliness. After all Hijeevey likes Mrs. Purdy Marans at his side at all times, she just didn't have the time to raise babies.

So the nanny looked after the one, while I took care of the rest.

But I have to say....

I think Mrs. Purdy Marans has some serious explaining to do!

The weekend.

2010-08-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

Friday, my nephew stayed the night with us. Its always nice to see him. We tend to have a lot of fun anytime family arrives. My little ones are always so excited to see their cousin and-I-mean, REALLY EXCITED! Although at times this place has strongly resembled a zoo, Friday night it felt more like a Ringling Brothers Circus.

Lets just say that by having a third child in the house, I found all the confirmation that I needed in order to follow through with getting my tubes tied. Hell not only do I just want them tied, I want them snipped burned and removed! Just Kidding.... sort of.

Ok shall we move on from female anatomy?

Sat really was the highlight of my weekend. Sat morning I woke up in a fit of cold sweats and a screaming headache. I had another nightmare. Therefore I was sure the headache was from grinding my teeth.

This nightmare was a whopper... absolutely horrible. Far worse than anything you could have ever imagined! I dreamed that I was outside and my neighbor came over to inform me that Jasmine and Jessica were loose. Then suddenly my attention was directed to a noise inside the house. I told him that I would be back out in a second to round them up. I don't know what I did when I went inside but I remember feeling like I was inside for a long time, and that getting the goats had slipped my mind. I returned back outside to see my neighbor carrying Jessica's lifeless body. She had drown in their swimming pool. I picked her up and cradled her small fragile soaking wet body in my arms. I began rocking back and forth crying. The crazy thing was that Jasmine had drowned too but for some reason I thought she was going to be alright. That's a dream for ya! I have to say that, on a positive note, I must like Jessica more than I thought! ;)

So after waking from my hellish nightmare, I popped a few Advil. And YES, I went down to the barn to check on my girls. They were just fine. Since I was already down there I decided to clean the barn and chicken coop. Frankly it was just an excuse to be around the animals because I still had not shaken the uneasiness that my dream had left me. I cleaned the barn, coop, all the feeders, water pails and buckets. I walked back to the house satisfied that I had accomplished something. Except I still hadn't managed to shake the pounding in my head. Maybe the headache wasn't from grinding my teeth but from all the farmers cutting Hay?

So I then decided to take some Children's Benadryl. Ok, now before you start, I have a perfectly good reason for taking children's medicine. I'm allergic to almost all medicines except headache medicine and Benadryl... and because I am only 5'2 and weigh 120lbs (bout the size of some of the 5th graders at my daughters school), I take the Children's Benadryl. The Adults Benadryl will wipe me out for the day. Not to mention children's medicine just taste better!

So now that you know about my impending tubal ligation, freakish nightmares and allergies, lets move on...

My Best Friend "T" calls me Sat. afternoon. By the way, "T" is freakin' awesome! The best person in the world! Anyways, she is in the National Guard and she had drill coming up. So she had decided that she would allow her daughter to stay the night with her father since she had to be at drill so early that morning. Well, this was T's first time being away from her baby all night. She was a train wreck. I have to say I couldn't imagine having my baby away from me overnight. That had to be really tough on her. So of course I gave her all the supportive guidance that any good friend would do... I suggested...

Just kidding... sort of.

T came over to take her mind off of the separation. We indulged in some southern entertainment...a bonfire and booze....BUT someone for got the fried foods!!!!

Lee stayed in the house to give us some girl time and to listen for the children who were tucked soundly into bed. It was nice of my husband to be so thoughtful. I greatly appreciated the time that I got to spend with T. We use to have a wine night every other Wednesday but hadn't in a very long time. I didn't realize how much I missed our Wed. night tradition. Even before we were of age (to drink) we have always had some sort of time set aside for a weekly girls night. But then life happens and ya throw the schedules of family into the mix... getting together starts to take a lot more effort.

Anyways...

The fire was crackling. Poppy's home brew was just swell. There was a chill in the evening air. Three Dog Night quietly playing in the background... The ambiance made for an easy laid back nostalgic evening, full of interesting discussion about the past present and future.

We have been friends for a long time. Thinking back, its kind funny how our conversations have evolved over the years. We went from gossiping about other girlfriends, to talking about boys, to having deep discussions about what we were going to be when we grew up, ya know, mapping out our future.

Now we talk about.... ?.... OK so maybe our conversations haven't evolved.. We still ~~gossip~~ discuss old friends, talk about love, and wonder what we are going to do when we grow up. ;) See, T and I just get each other. Not only is my BFFBFF that I can travel back in time with. Everyone needs a time traveling companion!

So anyways... Now where was I going with this? O yes! Shit! So sorry, the entire bonfire story completely derailed my purpose for this post!

Here at Come By Chance, we try to find the beauty and education within each an every experience through an optimistic approach! The beauty this weekend was in the love of friendship, both in human relationships and animal... The learning part was, "There is absolutely NO WARNING on the label of Childrens Benadryl about the effects of drinking alcohol while taking this medication"!? Yeah I know I couldn't believe it either! So anyways, I don't really recommend doing that. Two glasses of wine began to feel like ten very quickly. And as far the optimism... Well, of course Sat night I slept like a baby!

Cheers!

note... I have no idea why my sentences are automatically breaking. My post doesn't look anything like this while I'm drafting. Any clues whats up with this? ERRR.

Heres to Economic Recovery... Your new Incentive!

2010-08-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

This came in the mail today...

ALL I'm saying is...REALLY!?!? I cant believe this is the same country I grew up in.

Question for the Chicken People

2010-08-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

I placed 5 Black Copper Marans eggs under our broody hen. I collected the eggs for 5 days and then put them under her at the same time. When I returned home from vacation I discovered one egg had already hatched but the others haven't yet and now the hen has left her nest in order to keep up with the new chick that's toting around. By my calculations the entire entire clutch shouldn't hatch for another week. I must have over looked the egg (that hatched) while I was collecting for just this one to have hatched this soon. Errr... I will eventually get this whole chicken thing down but right now, I need some advice. And NO I'm not getting a new hobby! :)

Will it work by putting the eggs in the incubator after the hen has sat on them this long? When should I just cut my losses? Should I just leave the remaining eggs in the nesting box and see what happens? Has anyone else ever dealt with this before?

The last time the broody hen went broody the same thing happened. There were a few eggs that weren't ready by the time the others had hatched and again she had to leave the nest to mother the others. About 4 days later I threw the eggs away...cracking one of them. There was an underdeveloped chick inside but it was still alive. Needless to say it died with in hours and I felt really bad.

What to do? What to do?

Anybody out there ready to give a green horn some advice? I might actually listen this time... I promise....maybe.

Seriously knowledge is power and I would like to be able to rectify the situation, so tell me what to do, if you can.

More than just a Trip.

2010-08-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my family and I packed our bags and headed to the mountains. Although we had planned the trip a month in advance I wasn't sure if I even wanted to go until the night before. Its not that I don't like getting away. Its not that I don't like to experience new things either. I use to love to travel. Its just... its complicated.

I have yet to blog about my life just before Come By Chance and it will take me a long time before I am ready to revisit that time in my life... but I will say this.... this past weekend I realized that the circle of healing is almost complete. I was anxious about going away for the weekend because in my life before... we traveled. Packing for the trip reminded much of the past. I didn't want to go to that place again but Lee and I both agreed that its good for the kids to get away, to see and experience things that they cant at home. But regardless the anxiety was still there. I remained somewhat anxious through out the trip.

We took the kids to do all the fun kid things in Gatlinburg on Friday. They did the Build a Bear Workshop (Knoxville) , Ripleys Aquarium, Mirror Maze, went swimming, and ate every bit of junk food known to man. I think they had fun but they continually asked when we were going to go see the "BIG MOUNTAINS". The mountains was what the kids really looked forward to. They enjoyed doing the other activities but as our priorities had changed I realized so had theirs. They didn't care about all the other plunder, all they cared about was hiking up the mountain, being around nature... existing among a real world.

I thought it would be such a disappointment for the little ones because it poured rain off and on the only day that we allowed for the hike. But I was surprised that they were just as happy driving through the vast mountain sides enjoying the views of amazing landscapes and wildlife from the truck window. There were a few times that the rain held out long enough for us to get out of the vehicle and look around but for the most part our exploring was limited. They still had fun and that did my heart well.

I realized while weaving through the fog filled Smokey Mountains that I was in a sacred place. The kids finally conked out in the back seat while Lee and I quietly drove through the emblematic scenes of heaven. It was like a spiritual cleansing.

I realized that though the pain from the past still lingers in my head from time to time, we all have grown from our individual demons. Our priorities have changed, the things that should really matter now truly matters not only to my husband and myself but also to our children. I also recognize that no matter how much the past tries to cripple me, I will carry on as I am now aware that I can still move on when fear wants to keep me frozen in place.

Heaven has a way of calming a distressed spirit and that exactly what this place did.

It was more than just a trip...

Sammy

2010-08-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

A Camera glich turned out a cool photo. I thought I would share the variations.

Original

Auto adjusted

Color Tweak

Come By Chance

Into the wild

Thanksgiving

Earning My Degree

Stepping Forward

Compassion is love and love is an art..

The Vessel of Life

Sunset

The Water Fall

At Day Camp...

Life is a canvas..

Some things never change...

The Legend of "Sitting Hen"

Loving the skin your in...

Just a little bit red neck...

My Game Cam works

Birdhouse Gourds

In the Land of Milk and Honey

Seeds of Negativity

Strange World

Catching a beat down and some colorful words...

Longing for Male Companionship....... ?

Never a fair weather friend

We shall meet again.

Adventures in tracking

Catch up.

Comment

Jeeves is gone.

Belvedere... Searching for that sweet Belvedere.

The girl who played among the trees

Ice Poop and Thanks

Tender Moments....

Weekend wrap up; Thankfulness

Whats going on?

My neighbor is a *BLEEP*

My Big Brother

Woodland comforts

My first bowl

Harvest Day and Fiber Fest

Jeepers Creepers.... Its Halloween!!!

Tomatoes = Atonement

Home was in the heart of my grandfather....

Home was in the heart of my Grandfather....

Frightening Weather

My Girls....

Its cold out....

NAIA Pow Wow 2010

Tide you over with some Banana Bread?

Savoring the moment

The Non-Garden

Tree Identification Class.

Just a Day

Off to the Amish.

Mind Travel

Update: Spa Day at the Homestead

Scaly- Leg Mites

The Horrible Dirty Rotten No Good Weekend....

Projects Projects Projects

Marans Babe with the Nanny

Fish Tales

The Mountain Dulcimer

Tombstone

Night Dreams

The hitchhiker

Opossum, Old Men, and the Witches Costume

No more kisses for you, Missy!

Croutons

The Herdsman

Ugh... Annoying Day.

Learning to Teach.

To the Brave...

Signs of Hope

Infidelity????

The weekend.

Heres to Economic Recovery... Your new Incentive!

Question for the Chicken People

More than just a Trip.

Sammy

My neighbor is a BLEEP